The Consequences of Choices
by Steffie Black
Summary: AU,We all think, when Remus Lupin came teaching in Harry’s 3d year, he didn’t have a steady relationship. But what if he did? Why wasn’t she mentioned? Could it be they didn’t want someone to know about them? This is her story. RLOCSB
1. Prologue

Summary: We all think, when Remus Lupin came teaching in Harry's 3d year, he didn't have a steady relationship. But what if he did? Why wasn't she mentioned? Could it be they didn't want someone to know about them? This is her story. RLOCSB

A/N: Ionly started writing fanfiction recently, so I hope you like this, please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: of course only Malika belongs to me.

Prologue. 

End of June, 1994. (End Harry's 3d year)

In the living room of a small, cosy apartment somewhere in London, a loud pop could be heard, followed by a voice calling out. 'Honey, I'm home.'

Through the doorway to the kitchen, a woman in her mid-thirties appeared.

'Home already? Weren't you supposed to stay until the end of year feast?', she asked, frowning a little.

Remus Lupin sighed as he plopped down on the couch. 'I thought you would be happy to see me sooner then expected.'

Malika sat down next to him. 'Of course I am happy to see you, but there must be a reason you are early, what happened?'

Remus turned away his head, but Malika turned it back towards her. 'Please, tell me what happened.' He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off. 'And I don't want to hear any excuses, after all these years, I know when something is bothering you. It will help if you talk about it, and you know you can tell me everything. Now out with it.'

He looked at her with a sad smile. 'You know me too well, Love.'

And after a deep sigh he told her what had happened during the last full moon. How they had discovered that Sirius was innocent, and in fact Peter was the traitor. How Remus had forgotten to take his Wolfsbane potion. How Peter had escaped and how Sirius was on the run again. How Snape had revealed to the school about Remus's Lycantropy, ('that bastard', commented Malika) and how Remus ended up resigning.

Tears were in Malika's eyes, after she had heard the story, but she quickly dried them. Then she spoke softly. 'You didn't have to resign, you know, you loved that job', she lifted her hand when he wanted to interrupt her, 'I know what you are going to say, we had this sort of discussions before, so lets not talk about it anymore now.' She smiled. 'I am happy you are back, I missed you terribly.' And with that, she gave him a soft kiss.

But while they were kissing, he couldn't help but ask himself why she hadn't asked anymore about Sirius.

* * *

September 1st, 1970. (Marauders first year)

A young girl, age 11, boarded the Hogwarts Express; she was one of the many nervous children who were on their way for their first year at Hogwarts High school for Witchcraft and Wizardry. This girl had dark brown hair that fell just on her shoulders; she wore it loose, because it was too thick to really do something with it. Her eyes were almost the same colour as her hair, a deep dark brown. These eyes were now scanning every compartment she passed, hoping for an empty one. She didn't know what to expect of all this magic stuff, she didn't kwon if she would like these people, so she was careful. When she had first received her letter, she thought it a joke of her parents, for her birthday. But then some strange woman had appeared at their front door, and told this girl she was indeed a witch, just like herself, she took the girl and her parents to a place called Diagon Alley, where they bought her school stuff, and there, the girl had to believe all of it was actually true. So now the girl was looking for a place of her own, ready to start a new life in a whole new world.

At last she found a compartment with only one occupant, a girl about her age, with fiery red hair and sparkling green eyes. When asked if she could join this girl, she smiled, nodded, and spoke first. 'Hi, I'm Lily Evans, what's your name?'

The other girl smiled too, now, a little of her shyness already disappearing, 'I'm Malika Andrews.'

The girls talked the whole ride towards Hogwarts, they found out they were both Muggleborn and had actually a lot in common. When they were both sorted in Gryffindor that night, for these two girls, it was the start of many years as best friends.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: only Malika belongs to me.

Chapter 1 

End of June, 1994

Malika woke up early the next morning. She had to get ready for work soon, but for now she had a little time left to relax and enjoy the feeling of Remus's arms around her. She was really glad he was home again; it had been a long year, without being able to see each other on a daily basis. And it had been equally long nights, having to sleep alone in a bed that was too big for just one person. She snuggled closer to Remus, who, even in his sleep, closed his arms tighter around her. Yes, she was definitely happy he was back home.

And yet, something was bothering her. Reflecting on the last evening, she wondered what it was. After he had told her what had happened before and during the night of the full moon, Remus had been rather downcast. She knew he was feeling guilty about Peter escaping and she knew he needed more time to cope with it before she could try and talk away his feelings of guilt. So instead, they had spent their evening making up for the time they had missed last year, while he was at Hogwarts. Of course they had seen each other often, she had often gone to her old school to visit him, and he had come home sometimes too. But it just wasn't the same.

While at Hogwarts, Malika had once seen Harry Potter, the son of her dead friends. It had been hard, she hadn't seen him since he was only a year old and he looked so much like James. That was what hurt the most, he reminded her of James, and of the fact that he was still mad at her the last time she had seen him, a few days before they had been killed by Voldemort. That was one of the reasons she didn't want Harry to know about her, not yet at least.

Logically, her thoughts went to Sirius. Remus hadn't told her much, only that he was innocent and on the run again, and she hadn't asked more questions. She understood why Remus didn't tell her much, but the idea he might not completely trust her hurt nonetheless. And yet she wanted to know more. She cared about Sirius, no matter what.

The idea popped up then to write a letter to Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts would surely be able to help her contact Sirius. As long as Remus didn't find out…

Malika's alarm clock rang.

She tried to get up, but Remus pulled her to him again. 'Do you really have to', he whispered.

Malika smiled. 'Yes, I have to go to work, but I'll save some time for you tonight, alright?'

Before he could reply, she gave him a swift kiss on the lips, and disappeared in the bathroom to shower.

* * *

November 1970 (Marauders 1st year) 

The first months of their first year at Hogwarts had gone by very fast. Malika Andrews and Lily Evans could always be found together, making homework in the library or hanging around in the common room. They found that they enjoyed magical education very much, and studied hard, even on the more boring parts. But they studied together and even the most boring stuff could become less boring when you had someone to share them with.

One cold day in November, however, Malika found herself alone in the library. Lily had forgotten something in their dormitory when they had reached the library, and had returned to retrieve it.

Malika had already started on her homework, while waiting for Lily, when a voice spoke up to her.

'Hi.' a pause and Malika looked up, 'I saw your friend isn't here, and I wondered…', another pause, 'I wondered if maybe I could sit with you, and we could make our homework together.', the boy before her finished, looking a bit uncertain. Malika eyed the boy a bit warily; he had sandy-brown hair and soft amber eyes and he shifted a bit uncomfortable under her gaze.

Malika recognised him as one of what she and Lily, just likemost of school in fact, called 'Potter and his gang of troublemakers'. It was almost unbelievable how a bunch first years could become so notorious in such a short time, but it was true. James Potter and his friend Sirius Black had apparently met on the train, and promptly decided to make name as troublemakers together. And that was what they did; pulling pranks and making enough noise to be sure everyone knew they existed. They had become quite popular, but neither Malika nor Lily liked that sort of attention seekers, so they tried to ignore the gang of boys as much as possible, although it wasn't that easy, especially because they too were gryffindors.

Malika didn't really know how to react now and wished Lily was here, she would certainly know what to say, but Lily wasn't back yet. So Malika bit on her lip, and said finally, almost accusingly: 'you are one of Potters friends, aren't you?'

The boy before her frowned. 'Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm just like them, if that is what you think.'

Malika blushed. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.'

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two eleven year olds. Then Malika spoke again. 'You can sit down if you want, I was just starting on my homework for DADA. Oh, and I'm Malika Andrews by the way.'

This time, the boy smiled. 'I know, and I'm Remus Lupin.'

Malika smiled too, 'I know.'

A silence fell again while Remus sat next to Malika, but this time it was a comfortable silence, and Malika turned towards her homework again.

The next moment, she heard Remus' voice near her ear, 'I've done this essay already, I can help you if you want.'

Malika looked up at him incredulously. 'You've done this already? I thought you guys didn't make your homework until the very last minute.'

Remus grinned at her, 'That's James and Sirius for you, but I told you already, I'm not exactly like them.' Malika blushed again. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered, 'I'm normally not one to judge people before I know them, but your friends are really getting on my nerves, and you're always with them, so I thought…' She smiled, 'Well, obviously, I thought wrong. I would be very glad if you could help me, I'm not very good at DADA actually, I'm still pretty new to this magical stuff.' She blushed again.

Remus smiled at her. 'Oh, you're Muggleborn then?' Malika nodded a little nervous, she and Lily had learned soon that not everyone welcomed Muggleborns with open arms. 'What about you?', she asked.

'I'm a halfblood, my father is a wizard, but my mother is a Muggle.', he answered, and followed 'If you have trouble with DADA you can always ask me if you want, I'm pretty good at it.'

Malika smiled gratefully, 'Thank you. You can ask me too if there's something I could help you with.'

'Well, maybe you could help me with potions.'

'Sure.'

They smiled at each other.

'Malika, I'm back…' Lily's voice could be heard near their table, trailing away as she saw Remus sitting there.

Both looked towards Lily, who was eyeing Remus warily, pretty much in the same way Malika had looked at him at first.

Malika spoke up first. 'Lily, I hope you don't mind if Remus joins us…', she hesitated a moment, and then followed with a grin, 'He's nothing like his friends.'

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus grinning at her and then smiling at Lily. After a moment, Lily smiled too, and sat down at their table.

Since that day, the three friends could often be found studying together in the library. While Malika's and Lily's annoyance towards James Potter and Sirius Black grew, a close friendship developed between the girls and Remus Lupin. This was something that in the boys dormitory was often used to tease him, and in later years, when James had decided to make Lily his, it was used to get information about the girls, although Remus kept silent, at least, most of the time.

Thanks to Jamie Love and LunasStar for your reviews.

Jamie Love: Remus and Malika are just living together and are definitely in love, reasons will be explained, but they aren't married (yet), who knows what will happen in the future? (I do, lol)

Please review and tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: only Malika belongs to me

Chapter 2

End of June, 1994

The day went by too slow for Malika, she wanted to go home, to Remus, but she had to be at work. And to make it even pass slower, there wasn't much work to do today.

Malika knew it would change in a few days, when they started organizing the security for the World Cup Quidditch in August. Many aurors would have to provide the safety of the players as well as the spectators.

Finally, lunchtime came, and as usual, Malika had planned to have lunch with a few other aurors and auror trainees. Today would apparently be a special lunch, a group of auror trainees had just passed their tests, and would soon join them as full-fledged aurors. Of course, this happened every year, and Malika had every year lunched with these new aurors. This year however, one of the new aurors was Nymphadora Tonks, and this would make lunch definitely special, if only for the pumpkin juice that would probably cover them soon, when Tonks would trip over something and spill her juice over her friends, as usual. Malika knew what to expect when Tonks was nearby, she had knew her when Tonks was only a child, and the girl had always been incredibly clumsy.

Malika didn't know if Tonks remembered her, she hoped not, she had tried so long to put the past behind her, it certainly wouldn't be welcomed if Sirius's cousin would want to reminisce with her, in fact, the fact Tonks was Sirius's cousin made Malika not want to talk about the past with her. Just seeing the sparkling girl, with just as much joy of life as Sirius used to have, was a stab in Malika's heart.

So Malika stayed a bit away from Tonks, as usual, and talked instead with her friends Jane Bell and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Jane had been her friend since Malika had returned to England in 1987, after her long years of travelling abroad. She reminded her a bit of Lily; Jane was just as kind, happy and understanding; just what Malika had needed back then. Kingsley however had only shortly become a good friend, after Sirius had escaped from Azkaban. Kingsley was in charge of the investigation about Sirius's whereabouts and he had asked her a few questions back then. He had been very understanding when she had told him she didn't like to talk about it, she had told him part of her past and he had listened to her, accepted there were things she didn't want to talk about and he had supported her since then.

As they arrived at the place were they would have lunch, she tried to push away the memories of her old friends, and tried to have a relaxing lunch with her colleagues and friends of this part of her life.

* * *

December 1972 (Marauders 3d year) 

Malika walked towards dinner, together with Lily. It had been a tiring day and week. Luckily it was almost Christmas. They would have two whole weeks to relax. Just one more week to go. Malika would spend Christmas at home, just like the last two years, she was always happy to see her parents again. Lily wasn't so happy, she often complained about her older sister Petunia, who hated the fact Lily was a witch and decided it reason enough to hate her sister. Upon hearing Lily, Malika had long since decided she was happy to be an only child.

As the girls walked along the Gryffindor table, toward two empty places, they past James Potter and his gang, who had shortly started to call themselves the Marauders. The boys had continued to gain popularity as the years past, and by now, they were the heroes of Gryffindor, liked by everyone except the Slytherins, the only other exception being Lily and Malika. Despite their friendship with Remus, the girls hadn't warmed up towards the other boys, quite the opposite actually. To make matters worse, James Potter had recently decided Lily was the girl of his dreams, and he did everything to gain her attention and win her over. Of course, everything he did had the opposite effect of what he intended, and the girl hated him more than ever.

As they past the Marauders, James Potter mussed up his hair and grabbed Lily's hand.

'Tomorrow is another Hogsmeade weekend, I know you want to go on a date with me Evans, so just say yes.'

Lily tore herself out of his grip, 'Forget it Potter, I am not going on a date with you, not now, not ever.', she snapped.

James seemed unfazed by her behaviour. 'If you have a date already, it's easy to call it off you know', he winked at her.

Now Lily was really furious, 'Oh, that's rich, honestly, which part of 'no' don't you understand. I. Am. Not. Going. With. You.' After a short pause to take a breath, she continued, 'As a matter of fact, I have a date, I'm going with Malika!' and with that, she flung her arms across Malika's shoulders. Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, who were sitting besides James, burst out in fits of laughter. 'Nice one, Evans.' Sirius gasped. James on the other hand was stunned, the look on his face was priceless, and upon seeing that, Lily and Malika burst out laughing too.

Malika was the first to calm down, as she noticed someone was missing. 'Where is Remus,' she asked with a frown. James answered curtly, 'He's gone home to see his mother who is ill.' Malika's frown deepened. 'Again? He's gone almost once a month, isn't that a bit often?'

But before anyone could say more, Lily had had enough of hanging around the Marauders, and pulled Malika down the table to have dinner.

That night in the library, Malika was still thinking about Remus's strange disappearances each month. She was pretty sure it had happened every month since she had known him. She had a diary where she wrote every day what had happened, and when Remus was absent, she mentioned it too. When she asked him, he had always said he went to visit some relative that was ill, and sometimes he was ill himself. That had sounded more accurate actually, because every time he returned, he looked very pale, she had even seen scratches on his arms a few times. She knew he had never told her the truth and she wished he would trust her and tell her one day.

Malika sighed, wondering about Remus wouldn't get her homework done. So she picked her DADA book out of her bag and returned to her DADA homework. The next moment however, she found herself staring out of the window, again wondering about Remus. A full moon illuminated the grounds below her, she stared at it for a few moments, before her eyes widened. The next moment she was leafing trough her DADA book, she was sure they would cover them this year. Indeed she found in her book a chapter about werewolves. While reading it, her heart started beating faster, she was sure she was on to something. After reading the chapter, she pulled out her diary and a calendarwith the moon cycle on it. Another few minutes later, she knew that every time Remus had been absent, it had been during the full moon, every full moon since she had known him. Slowly the truth sunk in that one of her best friends was, in fact, a werewolf.

Then she started wondering what she would do now. Would she confront him? No, she decided, he obviously didn't want to talk about it and he didn't want her to know either. After some moments of pondering about it, she decided to not do anything, but act as if she didn't know anything about it. She hoped he would tell her in time, when he was ready for her to know about it.

At least, now she knew what was going on, she didn't have to wonder anymore, so she could continue on her homework now.

Please review and tell me what you think


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Only Malika is mine...

Chapter 3

End of June, 1994

After having lunch, Malika had returned to her cubicle and tried to concentrate on the paperwork she had to do. Unfortunately, her mind kept drifting off towards a certain escaped convict; he was one of the few friends she had left, at least, if he wanted to be her friend. They hadn't been on good terms when they had last spoken to each other, but Malika hoped that he had forgiven her by now.

She had spent twelve years thinking Sirius had betrayed them, and all those years, she had blamed herself for all that had happened, for she had done the same to him. Still, it didn't matter how he felt towards her now, she cared about him, and she wanted to know for sure if he was alright and since Remus wasn't about to tell heron his own accord and she didn't want to ask him, she had to find out for herself.

Making up her mind, Malika put her paperwork on the side and started writing a letter to Dumbledore, asking him if he could get her in contact with Sirius.

Then she started a letter to Sirius, at least, it was what she tried. After many drafts, she still didn't know what to say to him. In the end she decided to keep it short, hoping that in time they would find more to say to each other.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I am writing you this letter to let you know that I have heard about what has really happened that unfortunate Halloween night 13 years ago. I am happy to know that you didn't betray us. The idea of you betraying us has broken my heart over and over again for the past years. _

_I know we weren't on good terms the last time we saw each other and I understand if you prefer to not hear from me. Maybe I am a fool for hoping that you have forgiven me by now, but it is all I can do. I want you to know that I care about you, no matter what._

_I hope you are well, at least, as well as can be expected for someone in your position._

_Please write back.  
__Take care of yourself._

_Hopefully your friend,_

_Malika. _

Malika had purposely left Remus out of the letter. Some things were better left unsaid.

She sealed both letters and enclosed the one to Sirius with the letter to Dumbledore, then she called for an owl to sent them to Hogwarts.

* * *

November 1974 (Marauders 5th year)

Time went by quickly at Hogwarts, and before they knew it, the girls found themselves in their 5th year. Without their knowledge, things would start to change drastically for them, and these changes would start this year, whether they wanted it or not.

In fact, things had already started; it was more a fact that these changes weren't noticeable yet, at least for the girls.

Then again, some things never changed. The girls had been keeping up with their daily study circle together with Remus. During the summer after their 3d year, Malika had told Lily what she had discovered about Remus. At first, Lily didn't believe her, but after Malika had shown her proof, she admitted the other girl was probably right. Then, they had been discussingwhat they should do with their knowledge. They both knew Remus, and they trusted him, but it was only after Lily mentioned that Dumbledore had probably guaranteed everyone's safety that both girls were convinced they didn't have to do anything. In the end they had agreed to just not talk about it to anyone, not even to Remus himself.

They had also concluded that the other Marauders must know too; this little piece of knowledge changed Malika's opinion about them and made her think higher of them, if only a little bit. For Lily, it didn't change anything; she still hated them with as much fervour as before, and it was a feeling that would only grow during their 4th and 5th year.

Now it was November of their fifth year, the days were getting colder, and with it, many colds captured the students. One day, Malika found herself alone in the common room, sitting on the couch near the fire, reading a book, while Lily had gone to the hospital wing for treatment of a very nasty cold.

All of a sudden, she felt someone sitting down next to her and draping an arm around her shoulders. She looked up into the grinning face of Sirius Black.

'Hello Andrews, left all alone by your counterpart?'

Malika lifted her eyebrows and shrugged his arm of her shoulders. Then she noticed the other Marauders had appeared around her too and had seated themselves on the armchairs closest to the couch.

'Lily went to the Hospital Wing', she answered, and upon seeing James look of concern added, 'nothing serious though, just a cold.'

'Of course she is not me', Sirius replied smugly.

Malika sighed and rolled her eyes, 'Honestly, you would think that joke would get old after the first time, I can't believe you still use it.'

Now, Sirius leaned closer towards her. 'I can't very well change my name now, can I? Although with someone as beautiful as you it isn't hard to forget ones own name.'

Malika rolled her eyes again, and pulled away from him. 'That may work on other girls, but it won't work on me, I thought you would know that by now.'

For the last year, Sirius had been dating many different girls, but never for longer than a few days, Malika didn't want to be the next on his list.

This time, it was James who answered. 'True, Lily has probably shared with her a part of her untouchability.'

Malika couldn't help but notice a touch of bitterness in his voice, and she felt a bit sorry for him.

'You know, James, I think it might help if you would grow up a little, stop chasing her around and things like that.'

James only shrugged her advice off of him, and brought the focus again on Malika. With a pensive but mischievous look in his eyes he said, 'I do think I know what Malika likes though, Sirius, I think she is the kind of girl who would fall for a quiet, studious guy.' And with that he looked suggestively towards Remus.

Malika shook her head towards James, 'You know Remus and I are just friends, James, so shut it, alright.'

What she failed to notice, but was seen by the others, was the slight blush that had crept on Remus's cheeks, and a look of disappointment after her last statement.

After that, the subject of conversation changed, and Malika spent the rest of the evening joking around with the Marauders, until Lily entered the common room and both girls climbed the stairs to their dormitory.

It was the first time she had spent so much time alone with the guys, and she had to admit she actually had enjoyed it.

Once in their dormitory, Lily wanted to know how and why her friend had spent time with, of all people, the Marauders.

After Malika had told her what happened, Lily praised her she had sort of rejected Sirius, but she pointed out her friend must be out of her mind when she said she enjoyed her time. Malika only laughed at that statement, and admitted that only a few hours ago, she would have thought the same.

When she told Lily about James suggestive remark of her liking Remus, Lily got an odd look on her face.

'What's wrong?', Malika asked frowning.

Lily only smiled and asked her own question. 'Well, do you like him?'

Malika looked confused, 'He is one of my best friends, Lily.'

Lily shook her head. 'You really are clueless, aren't you?'

Now, Malika looked even more confused.

'He likes you,' Lily exclaimed, and added when Malika shook her head unbelieving, 'You should see the way he looks at you sometimes.'

Malika looked out of the window now, obviously in thought. 'I don't know, Lily, and I'm tired, let's just go to bed.'

And with that she crawled in her bed and closed the curtains.

000

Meanwhile, the boys had their own conversation in their own dormitory.

'So, Moony, you really like her, don't you?', James said smugly, leaning against his bedpost.

After a short silence, Remus finally sighed, 'Yes, I like her.'

'What are you going to do about it?' Sirius asked from his bed, where he was sorting through Bertie Botts all-flavour beans.

Another sigh. 'Nothing.'

'Why?', Peter asked confused.

Another silence, this time longer.

'If you like her, you should let her know.' James spoke again.

'Please, cut it out, Prongs', Remus continued after a short pause, 'if I tell her how I feel, and we would end up dating, I would eventually have to tell her about…you know, and she would probably hate me after that, and I couldn't stand to lose her that way.'

James opened his mouth again, but Remus cut him off. 'I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay, so let's just drop it', and with that, he crawled in his bed.

A few moments later, Sirius's voice cut through the heavy silence.

'If you don't take your chance, you won't mind if I give a try, will you, Moony?'

A heavy sigh could be heard from Remus's bed, followed by an annoyed 'Whatever, Padfoot, do as you like, but don't hurt her.'

Jen: thanks for your review, Malika is an African name, but I don't really know where I got it from, it's just a name I like to use in stories I write.

Please review, I barely get reviews and I'm wondering if someone is actually interested in my story.


	5. Chapter 4

Dislclaimer: only Malika belongs to me...

Chapter 4

End of June, 1994

As Malika came home from work that day, she realised again how good it felt to have Remus back home. He had prepared dinner for them, like he used to do before he went to teach on days when she had to work late.

They spent a nice evening together, just talking and enjoying each others presence.

That is, until an owl arrived, carrying letters for both of them, coming from Sirius.

Upon seeing the letter directed to Malika, Remus frowned slightly.

"How come Sirius wrote you a letter?"

Malika looked up to him a bit guiltily. "I sent him one earlier today. I wanted to know how he was doing, and seeing you didn't provide much information, I decided to ask him myself."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or just ask me?"

He sounded a bit hurt. Malika flinched inwardly, this was exactly the reason why she hadn't told him, but she didn't want to tell him that.

"I suppose I just forgot. I didn't mean anything by it; I just wanted to make sure he was alright." There was more to it than that, they both knew it, but she didn't want to have a lengthy discussion and dig up the past right now. He had only gotten home yesterday, and she had had a long day. Besides, it was only a letter; it wasn't worth to have a fight over. They both seemed to silently agree over it, because Remus didn't say anything about it anymore, but started reading his letter.

However, after a few moments, he looked up again.

"Did you tell him about us?"

Malika shook her head. "I think it's better if he doesn't know yet."

Remus nodded his head, and continued reading his letter, and Malika started the one directed to her.

_Dear Malika,_

_I just received your letter, and even to my own surprise, I was very happy to hear from you._

_I always believed I wouldn't be able to forgive you, but upon reading your letter, I realised I actually have already forgiven you. All that has happened in the past, lies far behind us now, so let us not dwell on it anymore. _

_I am probably as well as can be expected from someone on the run from the authorities, travelling on a hippogriff (first class seats in the front with great view), although I would prefer Hogwarts' kitchen over the bits and pieces left-overs I can get my hands on now. _

_How are you? What have you been up to all this time?_

_I really do hope we can keep in touch, _

_I have missed you a lot,_

_Sirius._

Malika smiled wistfully while reading the letter; this was so typically Sirius. Azkaban might have changed him, but the Sirius she had known was obviously still there.

Something caught her attention though; somehow she thought it strange Sirius hadn't mentioned anything about Remus in his letter, while he had sent this letter at the same time he had sent one to Remus. But then again, Sirius had said to not dwell on the past anymore.

In the end Malika decided not to think too much of it now.

She was just really glad he had forgiven her and she would make sure they could keep in touch. And while deciding this, there was another decision she made. She had been given another chance to make things right, and this time she wouldn't mess it up.

* * *

October 1975 (Marauders 6th year) 

On a cold day in mid-October, Malika was sitting on her favourite couch before the fire, while writing in her diary. It had been a long time since she had had the time to write in peace and there was so much happening these days that she was thankful to have some time on her own now.

Until her fifth year, Malika had always had enough alone time to write and think things through. She only used to spent time with Lily and Remus, and Remus had also the Marauders while Lily needed sometimes time for own too, and Malika had always been too shy to approach other people. But since that night in fifth year, when she had spent hours talking to the boys, they seemed to have accepted Malika as someone worth spending time with. This coming from the Marauders, the most popular group in school, was a great honour, although Malika didn't really care for such things.

After that first night, they had often come to sit with her, when they caught her alone; they had also tried to do the same when Lily was with her, but Lily always got up and pulled Malika with her upstairs to their dormitory. But whenever Malika was alone, they came to sit with her, and she could joke around together with them, except on full moon nights; then the Marauders were nowhere in sight. Malika hadn't asked questions of where they went then; she just assumed it had something to do with Remus being a werewolf and she didn't want to pry about it.

Actually, this night was a full moon; that was why she had time for her own now, while Lily was off somewhere with her Ravenclaw boyfriend-since-a-week Leonard Lovegood. Malika didn't understand why Lily would be dating that guy, he was just plain weird, believing in things no-one else believed. On the other hand, Malika thought she herself might be a little prejudiced. After spending all this time with the Marauders, she had gotten to know all of them pretty well, and she couldn't help but think that Lily should really give James a chance. He wasn't as arrogant and big-headed as he seemed when you got to know him better, at least, not when Lily wasn't anywhere near; whenever he came near the redhead, he just didn't know how to behave himself.

Malika herself didn't have any problem with the Marauders anymore; she got along great with all of them. Remus was still one of her best friends; they had even gotten closer with all the extra time spent together. James had become a good friend too. Peter was the only one whom she still didn't really know, but she figured he was just really shy and she could understand that. But the one that had surprised her the most was Sirius.

Ever since that first night, when he had appeared beside her and flung his arm around her, he had been paying her a lot of attention, most of the time he had been flirting openly with her. Malika had been ignoring this mostly, although she couldn't resist to flirt back from time to time, just for fun. She wouldn't have thought anything of it, but she couldn't help but notice that he had stopped having one girlfriend after the other since somewhere in April. Somewhere a voice inside her mind had been nagging her about the fact that maybe he might really like her. She had ignored this voice, but it was getting stronger in her mind the last two weeks, so now she was pondering this over while writing in her diary. Another question that came to her mind now was: did she like Sirius too? She wasn't sure about that one, but time would tell, she figured.

It was in that moment that something happened that would cause a drastic change in all their lives.

Suddenly, Malika was pulled out of her ponderings when the portrait hole was opened, and in came James, Sirius and Peter. Apparently James and Sirius were having a fight over something, this was a somewhat disturbing sight, for Malika had never seen any of the Marauders really angry at another Marauder.

After the boys had entered the common room, they had fallen silent, but the animosity between them was obviously still hanging in the air. James and Peter immediately went up to their dormitory, but Sirius dropped down on the couch next to Malika, apparently he didn't want to be in the same room as James right now.

Malika looked cautiously towards Sirius, wondering what had happened, knowing it must have been something really bad, to make James mad like that. Sirius looked truly miserable.

"What's happened?"

Sirius just sighed, and slumped further down on the couch.

"I know something terrible must have happened, to make James this mad at you. You two are like brothers and I've never seen you fight. It might help if you talk about it to someone, and I'm here to listen if you want to."

Another long silence followed, and Malika was just returning to her diary when Sirius spoke in a low whisper.

"I did something very stupid."

Malika returned her gaze to Sirius, but he was looking into the fire.

After another long silence and another try from Malika to return to her diary, Sirius finally started to speak, but it wasn't about what happened tonight.

"Did you know I ran away from home this summer?"

Malika looked up surprised, but he was still staring into the crackling fire.

"I couldn't handle my family anymore. They are one of the most dark families you could find, supporting You-Know-Who and all. My mother would actually have a fit if she knew I was talking to a Muggleborn like you." For the first time he turned his gaze towards her, a sad smile playing along his lips.

"Since my first year, I had to endure her endless ramblings about being sorted in Gryffindor, how bad of a son I was, associating with Muggleborns and blood traitors. This summer, I had enough of it; I just packed up my stuff, and ran away. I took the Knight Bus to James' house."

He gazed into the fire again.

"His parents were great, they accepted me in their home, gave me food and a place to sleep, somewhere to return to during the holidays." He gave a heavy sigh. "So, actually, you could say now that James is my brother."

Malika didn't really know how to react to this, so she just said whatever came to her mind.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that."

He didn't seem to have heard her, because he continued.

"I've never had a fight with him before, but I suppose I deserved it, I deserve everything he said to me, and they are right if they never forgive me for it."

Malika didn't know who exactly he meant by 'they'. What she did know, was that she didn't like to see Sirius depressed like this, she wanted to comfort him, but that would be hard if she didn't know what was wrong. So she had to ask again.

"Sirius, please tell me what's happened."

It took another long silence, before he started to tell her in a low whisper, although he left out certain facts.

"I did something very stupid earlier today. Snape has been taunting me for awhileabout merunning away from home, today he just went too far, and I wanted to play a prank on him to punish him."

Malika frowned, Snape and the Marauders had been enemies at school since first year, and with what happened last year after their OWL for DADA, he would have been too happy to have something to bait the Marauders into causing trouble.

"I was so angry that I wasn't thinking, I just told him…", Sirius stopped talking abruptly, before casting a quick eye on Malika, and continuing. "I played a prank on him that could have killed him, and probably would have, if James hadn't found out in time and went to rescue him." He swallowed and continued in a barely audible whisper, probably not meant for Malika to hear. "But what's worse, I've betrayed Remus's trust."

Then, somehow, it all clicked in Malika's mind, although she knew she wasn't meant to know it. She was sure Sirius had told Snape how to go where ever Remus went during the full moon.

Part of her wanted to scream at Sirius for being so stupid, but she knew she couldn't, because then he would know she knew about Remus, and she didn't want that to happen. Besides, as she looked towards Sirius, she realised he already felt miserable enough without her being mad at him too, James had been yelling at him before, and Malika was pretty sure it would take a lot of time before Remus would ever forgive him, once he found out what had happened.

So she did the only other thing she could think of to do; try and comfort Sirius, if that was at all possible.

Malika put her arms gingerly around Sirius. The next moment, he had turned around in her arms, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her shoulder, he held onto her as if his life depended on it. They sat like this in silence for a long time.

At one point in time, Malika heard the portrait hole open. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lily walking towards them and looking at her with a questioning gaze, Malika mouthed a quick 'later'. Lily simply nodded and walked up the stairs to their dormitory. Sirius didn't move during this exchange, as if he hadn't even noticed that someone had entered the common room.

It was only a long time after Lily had left, that Sirius finally let go of Malika.

He smiled sadly at her, but now his eyes held also something else, a tenderness Malika had never seen before.

"Thank you", he whispered, "I needed that."

Malika smiled back.

"No problem, I'll always be here if you need me."

Although, while she said that, a voice in her head told her to not make promises she might not be able to keep. She quickly silenced that voice.

Only then she realised they had been staring into each others eyes.

The next thing she knew, Sirius was leaning forward, inching closer little by little. For a moment, Malika asked herself if this was what she wanted, but when their lips finally locked, all other thoughts left her mind quickly, while she marvelled in his soft kiss.

All too soon, he pulled away and when Malika opened her eyes, he was looking back at her hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that, you've let me known before you didn't want this."

Malika smiled. "It's alright." She bit her lip, thinking, before she added. "Things change."

Now, for the first time this evening, Sirius really smiled.

Then he bent towards her and kissed her again, longer this time.

When he pulled away this time, he was still smiling, but then his smile turned into a frown.

Malika frowned too.

"What's wrong now?"

Sirius sighed. "Do you mind if we keep this secret until this storm is over."

Malika understood what he meant, and nodded.

"I hope they will forgive me."

Malika squeezed his hand lightly, "I'm sure they will, but it might take some time."

Sirius nodded, then he looked down at their clasped hands and back up to her.

"Does this mean we're, you know, dating?"

"I guess so."

"I knew you would eventually fall for my charms."

Sirius winked at Malika and rolled her eyes.

"On the other hand, I guess some things don't change."

Sirius grinned, and now, Malika smiled back.

Then Malika stood and announced it was past her bedtime, they said goodnight, and left for their own dormitories.

000

Jamie Love: thanks for your review. I hope you like this chapter too.


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: only Malika (and Jane, butshe isn't that important)belongs to me...

Chapter 5

Summer of 1994

The summer passed by quickly for Malika.

In July, most aurors had to assist the preparations for the Quidditch World Cup. Those who didn't have to help with the Cup, were in too small numbers to handle the regular auror work. On top of the usual work, they were still searching for Sirius and as if that wasn't enough yet, a woman called Bertha Jorkins had dissapeared under strange circumstances. Needless to say the summer was very busy.

Malika often had to work late and had barely any spare time left. Luckily, Remus didn't complain too much about the fact they barely saw each other.

As usual, he was understanding, listened to her complaints, cooked dinner, and massaged her sore feet after another day of running around like crazy, trying to get her work done.

In the meanwhile, Malika kept writing letters to Sirius. Most of their letters talked about Harry, Malika's work and things that were going on in the Wizarding World. They never talked about the past, and somehow they managed to never mention Remus in their letters either.

It wasn't logical, seeing as Malika lived together with Remus, and she knew Remus too received often letters from Sirius. But she figured it was better this way.

By the time August came, Remus had found himself a job in the Muggleworld, like he had done before he went to teach at Hogwarts.

Malika sometimes wondered why he bothered, she earned enough for the both of them to live from, but she understood he didn't like to have to depend on someone else.He had always told herhe hated what he called 'charity'. So Malika didn't say anything about it anymore.

Before she knew it, the World Cup had come.

While the spectators arrived, Malika was patrolling the field where many families had already set up their tents. She had to oversee the activities and make sure no-one did offend the strict rules.

So far, she had to stop someone who wanted to try out some magical fireworks, she had caught some children who tried to sneak some fizzing whizzbees to the non-magical children of the owners of the field they used for the encampments and she had arrested a group of forgers, who tried to sell their tickets near the entrance.

And the first day had only started.

At one point, she had seen an all too familiar face in the crowd and for a moment, she thought she had been hallucinating, because she could swear that she had seen James. But then she realised that it had been, in fact, his son, Harry Potter.

It was the first time in almost thirteen years she had seen him (except for that one time at Hogwarts, somewhere in January, and it had only been a glimpse then too), it had felt good this time, or at least less painful then that time at Hogwarts, but that might be because now she knew the truth about Sirius. Or it might be because it was the second time she saw a glimpse of him and was more prepared for it this time.

Then, her work demanded her attention again, some culprits were trying to spike the only source of fresh water in thevicinity.

* * *

October 1975 (Marauders 6th year)

Malika had planned to go to bed right away after her long conversation with Sirius, but as she reached her dormitory, Lily was waiting for her, demanding an explanation for the scene she had walked into earlier.

Malika told her friend what she thought had happened; how Sirius had told Snape how to find Remus, how James had stopped Snape, and how he had been yelling at Sirius when they had entered the common room. She ended her story with how she had tried to comfort Sirius, letting out the kisses they shared.

Lily was shocked about what she had heard, but apparently decided to stay out of this, because she didn't say anything about it. What she said instead, however, surprised Malika even more.

With a pensive look, Lily remarked, "So, James does have some feeling of responsibility inside of him, doesn't he. I'm actually surprised, maybe you were right about him, maybe he isn't that bad."

When she looked towards her friend however, Lily quickly continued.

"But that doesn't mean I'll go out with him, so don't look at me like that. Besides, I'm dating Leonard, remember."

Malika didn't say anything; she merely smiled at her friend.

Lily decided to quickly change the subject.

"So, about you and Sirius, what is really going on now?"

Malika shifted uncomfortable, she couldn't lie to Lily, it never worked anyway, so she decided to tell the truth.

"We are dating now, but don't tell anyone, Lily, we want to wait until the Marauders have worked out their problems before they find out about us."

Lily smiled and nodded.

A little while later, both girls were fast asleep.

000

The next week would count for many students as one of thestrangest weeksin their time at Hogwarts. And that was certainly the fact for Malika and Lily.

For the first time since first year, the Marauders couldn't be seen together. Though almost no-one in school knew what had happened, it was obvious that something had separated the earlier inseparable James Potter and Sirius Black.

After that night, James refused to talk to Sirius, and when Remus returned from the Hospital Wing after three days, he too ignored Sirius completely.

So, Sirius decided to hang out with the girls, sit with them duringmealtimes, classes and in the common room. They received many strange looks from their classmates, not only because they had never hang out together like this before, but also because Lily was known as a Marauder-hater. It was actually a strange view indeed.

Needless to say, after a few days Lily was sick of Sirius them following everywhere.

Another problem that rose out of this situation, was their study circle in the library. One day, Sirius had decided to follow them even there, this of course proved to be a problem when they arrived in the library, where Remus was waiting for the girls, as usual.

At first, Remus only sat there, glaring at Sirius, but when the latter didn't leave, Remus stood up brusquely, and left the library, before Malika could stop him.

It was at that point that Malika decided she had enough of this.

That night, she climbed to the boys' dormitory, when she was sure James and Remus were both there, while Sirius was in the common room. She figured it didn't matter if Peter was there or not, he just followed his friends' decisions anyway.

Malika knew Sirius had tried to speak to the others at first, but when they didn't want to listen after his first attempt, he gave up, claiming he had at least tried, and it was now their turn to come to him.

Malika had watched them all closely the last days, although she hadn't had a chance to talk to Remus or James, with Sirius following her around. She knew they were all miserable, with their fight going on. The Marauders needed each other, but they were all too stubborn and proud to admit it.

As she reached the door of the Marauders' dormitory, she knocked and entered without waiting for a response.

The boys looked up as she entered; Peter simply smiled at her and returned to the cauldron cake she was eating, James frowned at her and asked her what she was doing there, but Remus' reaction really shocked her, he just glared at her. It was the first time she had ever seen him looking like that towards her, and it hurt her more then she had ever thought possible.

She swallowed quickly, and forced her eyes quickly away from Remus, towards James.

"I want to talk to you guys."

"I suppose this is about Sirius", James asked.

Malika nodded.

Now, Remus spoke up, with an uncharacteristically harsh voice. "There is nothing to talk about. You have no idea what this is about Malika, so keep out of it." And in aquiet voice he muttered. "Besides, it's obvious whose side you've chosen."

It was now Malika's turn to get angry.

"I have not chosen anyone's side, Remus. Like you said, I have nothing to do with this, so how could I chose a side, it is not my choice that Sirius keeps following Lily and me around!" She sighed frustrated. This wasn't going like she had planned.

After letting herself calm down a bit, she continued. "I may not know whatexactly is going on between you guys, but I do know that this fight has to stop." She raised her hand when both Remus and James opened their mouth to protest. "The four of you have always been so close, and whatever has happened, it is not worth throwing away five years of such a friendship. I know you all need each other, I know you three miss Sirius just as much as he misses you. I want you guys to be friends again, not for me, but for yourselves. Please think about what I said."

Malika looked all of them in the eye for a moment. James turned his gaze away from her, Peter looked at her in awe, and Remus just stared back, with almost a hollow look, but deep down, she could see a flicker of something she couldn't place.

Then, Malika left the boys' dormitory, and returned to the common room.

000

Apparently, her little speech hadn't missed its effect, because after that night, the Marauders had been just like they used to be.

Consequently, Malika's and Lily's bond with them was back to normal, which meant the girls had again their almost daily study circle in the library with Remus, Malika hang out with the Marauders from time to time, and Lily ignored them most of the time.

This left another issue for Malika: her still new relationship with Sirius. While the boys had their fight, they saw of course enough of each other, but now the Marauders were back to normal, Malika and Sirius didn't have much time for them to be together, partly because the other boys didn't even know yet they were together.

At last, Malika figured it was time for them to know too, and Sirius reluctantly agreed. They had been together for almost four weeks and didn't even go together to Hogsmeade because the other boys didn't know.

So, finally, one night, when Malika was sitting in the common room together with the Marauders, Sirius cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Guys, there's something I have to tell you."

The others looked up expectantly.

"Malika and I have been dating for almost four weeks now, we wanted to tell you earlier, but we didn't really find a good opportunity and well,.., so now you know.", he ended uncomfortably.

A shocked silence had fallen upon the group then, this wasn't really something they had expected, to say the least.

James was the first to recover. "Well, congratulations, I suppose." Then he grinned mischievously. "If you two need to use my cloak to sneak off, just let me know." He said with a wink.

Until that moment, Remus just sat staring at them, but upon hearing this last comment, he bolted upright and yelled, "I can't believe you two. I thought you were my friends. I thought you meant it when you said you were sorry and you missed us, Sirius, I thought you hang out with her because we weren't speaking to you, but apparently, I was wrong, you used that time to snog Malika, and you only came back to us when you had enough. And I thought at least _you_ knew better, Malika, than to fall for someone like him. But if he breaks your heart, don't come run to me for comfort, because I warned you beforehand."

With that he stormed up the stairs towards the boys' dormitory.

Another shocked silence fell between the group of friends. Malika was utterly shocked, she didn't have any idea where that outburst had come from. Never had she seen Remus react like this. During the Marauders' fight, he had simply refused to speak to Sirius, but Malika had never heard him yell at anyone before.

After a short time, Malika stood up and announced she would go talk to Remus. Sirius tried to stop her, but she ignored him and went up the stairs.

She let herself in the dormitory without even knocking, and found Remus sitting on his bed, staring to the wall in front of him.

"Can we talk?" She asked softly.

He merely sighed.

"Remus, what's going on? Why are you so upset?" She approached his bed carefully.

Finally, he turned towards her, a troubled look on his face.

"I'm so sorry Malika, I didn't mean to blow up like that," he answered quietly.

"It's alright. Care to tell me what's wrong?"

He shook his head meekly. "Please don't ask me, I can't tell you, Malika, I...I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Alright, I understand." In fact, she didn't understand anything about it. Why would she get hurt? She laid her hand on his arm, at first he stiffened at her touch, but then he relaxed. She continued, "If there is anything, Remus, anything at all, you can always come to me, you know. I really care about you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

They looked each other in the eye for a few moments, he had a sad look in his eyes, but behind that, Malika saw again that same flicker she couldn't place.

Then, he turned away again, he whispered, "Thank you, Malika, I'll keep that in mind."

He glanced at her again, and continued. "I think I'm going to bed now, I'm tired, goodnight."

Malika was surprised by the abrupt end of their conversation, but she decided to let it go, although she still didn't know what exactly was going on, she was glad he wasn't mad at her anymore, because she didn't think she could bear to lose him.

She quietly told Remus goodnight, and returned to the common room.

Although he had told Malika he was tired, Remus couldn't sleep. His thought always returned to Malika, to the way she had looked at him, her dark brown eyes searching his amber ones for answers, the feeling of her soft hand lying on his arm. How could she say she cared about him, and at the same time date Sirius?

Remus knew he couldn't blame her, he had tried hard to not let her see how muchshe meant to him. He couldn't let her come that close, in the end it would only ruin everything, when she discovered what he was. And he couldn't bear to lose her. But in trying to make sure he wouldn't lose her, he had lost her anyway, and to one of his best friends, none the less.

The next thought that came up in his mind was: how could Sirius do that to him? Sirius knew how Remus felt about Malika, but Remus knew he couldn't actually blame Sirius either.

Only last year, Remus had told Sirius to go with Malika if he wanted to, although they both knew Remus hadn't really meant it when he said that.

The only one he could really blame, was himself, or even more so, the wolf, and so he did.

000

Please review!

Nascargirl05( ): Thank you for your review, I hope you like this chapter too.


	7. chapter 6

Disclaimer: Only Malika (and Jane) belongs to me...

Chapter 6

August 1994

The final of the Quidditch World Cup had ended much faster then Malika had ever imagined. Ireland won the game, although Bulgaria had caught the Snitch. Malika had been able to watch the game from where she stood guard.

It took some time before all the people had finally calmed down after the excitement of the game, mostly the Irishmen, who were celebrating their victory.

Just when Malika thought she could finally go to her tent and find some sleep, she heard a lot of noise coming from near the entrance of the field.

She was already running that way when she saw Jane running towards her.

"Come quickly!", was all she managed to say between gasps of air, before she ran away again.

Malika ran towards the noise and stood almost still from shock at the sight she saw.

A group of wizards was holding the Muggle owner and his family in the air with their wands; they were marching through the encampment and setting tents on fire while they passed them.

But the thing that made Malika's heart almost stop, were their clothes. They were wearing black robes and cloaks and masks, Death Eaters, she knew immediately.

Malika hurried to help the other Ministry Officials and Aurors to stop the group.

When it seemed they were finally starting to succeed at breaking them apart, something even more terrible happened.

All of a sudden, above the forest, appeared the Dark Mark, glistening a bright green in the dark sky. While everyone was staring at it, the group of Death Eaters disapparated quickly.

Malika felt tears coming up in her eyes. This just couldn't be happening, it must be some horribly sick nightmare.

"Oh no, sweet Merlin, say this isn't true, please," she was whispering before her to no one in particular. This was such a nightmare. She had lost everything she had during the last war, and the only thing that had kept her going the first year, was that Voldemort was gone and she could leave the horrors of the past behind her, knowing full well she would never really be able to let go.

If this meant what she thought it meant, then another war was standing before them, knocking on their door impatiently, and Malika wasn't sure if she could handle it.

A group of aurors and other officials went to try and catch whoever had called the Dark Mark, but Malika didn't go with them; instead she sought Jane out. Jane looked worriedly at her friend.

"Are you alright? You don't look so good."

Malika merely shrugged, in fact she felt miserable, but she didn't want to tell her friend, she felt guilty too about not being able to help more. What kind of auror are you when you almost faint at seeing the Dark Mark? She chided herself.

Jane seemed now genuinely worried about her and told her to go home and get some rest, assuring her everything was under control now and that they didn't need her there anymore.

Malika didn't protest; she was only too glad she could leave this horrible place.

A few minutes later, Malika had returned to her apartment, after quickly grabbing her things together. She had hoped Remus was sleeping, so she didn't have to answer any questions yet, but she should have know better, he always woke up at even the smallest sound she made.

She had just put down her things and hung away her jacket when he entered the living room, wearing a dressing gown over his pyjamas and looking as if he had just woken up roughly from a deep sleep, which was probably the fact, now Malika thought about it.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work all night?" His voice sounded rough with sleep.

Upon seeing the look of horror on Malika's face, however, a concerned look came to his face.

"What's happened, Malika?"

Suddenly, Malika realised she couldn't speak anymore; all the events of that night came flooding back to her, and with them, many of the horrors of the past that she had tried to repress. Tears started clouding her vision and flowing down on her cheeks.

The next moment, Remus' arms were around her. Holding her tightly, he guided her to the couch, and they sat down, his arms still safe around her. She sighed and leaned closer to him, finally feeling safe again, knowing he would protect her against the world, if he had to.

After the tears had finally subsided, she told him what had happened in a whispered voice, as if saying it aloud would make it all even more real. Her voice wavered when the Dark Mark came up, and Remus pulled her even closer to him.

When she had finished her story, a silence fell upon them.

Finally, she asked, "What do you think this all means?"

He thought for a moment before answering gravely, "I could say that it doesn't mean anything, that it was just a sick joke or something, but that would be a lie." He sighed before continuing. "It seems to me that we can expect Voldemort back soon, somehow."

"That's what I thought." Malika whispered. "But I don't know if I can face another war."

Remus squeezed her lightly to his side. "Whatever happens, we're going through it together, I'm right here for you."

Now, Malika smiled at him. "I know, thank you."

He smiled back at her and yawned.

"Time for bed, I would say, I'll owl Dumbledore tomorrow, to see what he thinks about all this."

Malika nodded, and with that, they headed to their bedroom.

* * *

September 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

Another year had passed, and Malika and her friends now entered their last year at Hogwarts.

During their 6th year, some things had happened and changes were made that none of them had expected at the beginning of that year, and the results of it were obvious as Malika boarded the Hogwarts Express.

When she had finally found her friends, she was immediately greeted by Sirius, with a soft kiss on her lips. They had been together for almost a year now, going against everyone's expectations, most people had given them only a few weeks at the most, even Malika herself hadn't thought it would last this long.

Malika entered their compartment and James and Peter waved at her, while Remus stood and gave her soft peck on the cheek, something he had started doing after their little talk in his dormitory, the night he had blown up to Sirius and her about being together. Malika had been surprised the first time when Remus had given her a kiss; it happened after a late study circle in the library, and she had wanted to go to bed right away when they reach the common room. The other Marauders weren't there, so Remus had decided to go to bed too, and when they said goodnight, he had shyly kissed her cheek. After that first time, it became a habit and Malika had to admit she liked it, although it was obvious Sirius didn't like it in the least. At the time, Sirius hadn't said anything about it and Malika didn't mention it either, they were both just happy Remus had accepted their relationship, knowing he had a hard time accepting it at first.

To her astonishment, there was someone else present in the compartment, someone she hadn't expected to find with the Marauders, at least not out of her own free will.

Lily was sitting next to Remus.

"Hi", she said, smiling.

Malika gaped at her. "What are you doing here?"

Lily raised her eyebrows, "Can't I sit with my friends?" At this, Malika too raised her eyebrows. Lily continued, laughing at the same time, "What? It's you who kept insisting I had to give them a chance, last year."

Malika had to admit this was true; ever since she started dating Sirius, she had been trying to convince Lily to come with her when she hung out with the boys. More than once, she even had forced Lily to join her, claiming she didn't want to be the only girl and pointing out Remus was one of them and Lily couldn't deny being friends with him. By the end of the year, Lily had let Malika drag her to the Marauders almost twice a week; a big accomplishment, seeing as she couldn't stand to be in the same room with James for more then five minutes at the start of that year.

But never in her wildest dreams had Malika expected to find Lily together with all the Marauders in one compartment on the train by her own free will.

Now, Malika shook her head at Lily, and asked, "Who are you, and what have you done with Lily Evans, or should I ask what James has done to you." With that, Malika cast a glance towards the boy sitting across from Lily. Malika wouldn't put it past him to try such a thing, but she was sure he knew that wasn't the right way to win Lily over.

She was relieved when she heard Lily's laugh, together with James' "I didn't do anything."

With a smile on her lips, she seated herself between Sirius and James, across from Remus.

Maybe, just maybe, there was the slightest chance James could win over Lily this year.

Malika thought he would definitely be a better choice then that Lovegood fellow from the first part of last year, and his successor, a handsome but pigheaded and definitely not very bright Huffelpuff going by the name of Gilderoy Lockheart.

The train ride to school was fun, like almost everything was when spent with the Marauders and the feast was delicious like always. Malika was happy to be at school again with her friends, after a mostly boring holiday with her parents.

But something was bothering her, though she couldn't really say what. There was just something that didn't feel right.

She was pondering this over while lying in her bed and trying to sleep.

Her thoughts drifted to the holidays. She had spent a week at the Evans' home and Lily in return had spent a week with her, she had seen the Marauders at Diagon Alley during the last week and she had been sending letters back and forth with all of them.

It struck her that, at Diagon Alley, she had felt the same sense of something not being right. If only she could put her finger on it.

In her mind, she returned to that day. She had met the boys in the Leaky Cauldron, after she had bought her school supplies. Then, they all walked down Diagon Alley, visiting some shops and when they were tired they went to eat some ice cream. Of course, she had walked hand in hand with Sirius, except when he went off towards some new joke shop with James and Peter, while Remus accompanied Malika to the bookstore. Most of the time, Remus had carried her stuff for her. They had talked a lot, they actually had a lot of fun together, and Remus had been really sweet that day.

Malika stopped her stream of thoughts abruptly. What am I thinking? I'm supposed to be Sirius' girlfriend.

At that moment, everything clicked in her head, and she realised what was wrong.

To make sure, she thought back to last year, when she had started dating Sirius.

Why did we actually start dating?

She remembered not being entirely sure if it was what she wanted, but she had wanted to give it a try then.

At first, it had felt really good. She liked the attention he gave her. He made her feel special, nobody had made her feel that way before. So she liked the way he made her feel.

They had gone on dates together, going for lunch or a drink in Madam Puddifoot's, they had made long strolls along the lake. She liked those special moments.

But never had she asked herself the really important question one should ask themselves in these situations, never until now.

Did she actually like Sirius in a romantic sort of way?

No.

Malika felt tears come up in her eyes.

This wasn't right. She liked having someone to care for her that way, but she knew that it was the wrong reason to stay together.

Should she break up with him?

She didn't know the answer to that question.

Maybe she should just try and find someone she did like that way.

At last, she decided to go to sleep and think about it later on, maybe when she was less tired.

And maybe tomorrow everything would look better. Maybe she would find out she did like Sirius in that way.

But in her heart, she knew that wasn't true.

000

Thanks to Jamie Love for her review.

A/N: In the past-part of this chapter, everyone is more or less 17 years old, in the present-part (1994) they are more or less 35.

Please review...


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Only Malika (and Jane) belongs to me...

Chapter 7

August 1994

The next day, Remus had sent a letter to Dumbledore, like he had promised, but Dumbledore's answer hadn't been very consoling.

Dumbledore, too, thought something was going on, he had already heard what happened at the World Cup and was now looking into it.

Whatever was going on, he apparently thought it was serious, because he had mentioned in his letter that the recently retired auror Alastor Moody would take upon him the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher the coming school year.

When Malika had arrived at auror headquarters that day, everything was quite a mess, and a lot of interrogations, investigation and paperwork had to be done with what happened the night before.

Her superiors didn't mention anything about her leaving early that night, maybe they didn't even know she had left. Yet even if they had said something, she knew they wouldn't exactly do much about it, because she was one of the best aurors at the moment. She was one of the few aurors left who had actually fought in the last war and was still working as an auror.

As the days went on however, most of the people seemed to forget about the incident at the World Cup, or they pretended to forget it. It was dismissed by the Ministry, and consequently by the Daily prophet too, as unimportant. Soon, the incident wasn't mentioned anymore and forgotten by the greater public.

Malika, however, wasn't so careless. She made sure to remember it and keep an eye open for further occurrences that could refer to Voldemort or Death Eaters, all with the intention to mention it to Dumbledore if she found something.

It occurred to her that, even years after the first war, she still saw the Headmaster of Hogwarts as the leader of the long dispersed Order of the Phoenix.

Summer ended and turned into fall.

In October things happened at the Ministry that proved to Malika people weren't as carefree as she had thought.

Apparently, many wizards and witches were scared after what had happened, and asked the Ministry to do something. The reaction of the Ministry, however, was discriminating, narrow-minded and completely wrong, in Malika's eyes.

It was through Remus that Malika heard what was going on at first.

* * *

September 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

A week had passed by since the start of term, and Malika still hadn't reached a decision.

She had been thinking things over and over in her head, she knew she had to be honest with Sirius, but she didn't want to hurt him.

Buther mind kept arguing that breaking up with him was what she had to do.

She had been quiet and pensive the whole week, and her friends had been asking her what was wrong on many occasions, but she had kept silent.

It was Lily who was the first to understand what was going on and had confronted her one evening when they were getting ready for bed.

"Malika, tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing," was her absentminded answer.

"I know something has been bothering you the whole week, why do you keep it locked inside?" Lily had insisted.

Malika sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You don't want to hurt anyone? Or, you don't want to hurt Sirius?"

At this, Malika looked up sharply.

"I thought so." Lily said then.

"What should I do, Lily?" Malika looked close to tears now, so Lily came to sit next to her friend and laid a gentle arm around her shoulders.

"You should be honest with him, you know it has to happen sometime, there's no use in waiting for the right time and that sort of crap." Malika started sobbing now.

Lily continued. "Malika, promise me you will tell him tomorrow. Promise me."

Malika took a deep breath and answered at last. "I promise, I will."

Lily smiled reassuringly to her friend. "Everything will be alright, you'll see. Now, let's get some sleep."

Malika nodded, and crawled under her blankets, but she couldn't help but doubt her friend's words. How could everything be alright if she had to break someone's heart?

000

The next day was a warm and sunny day.

Malika had told Sirius she wanted to talk to him, and they went outside towards the lake, where no-one would disturb them, she didn't want anyone else around.

As they reached the lake, they sat down on a spot of grass under a tree.

Sirius decided to start and get over with whatever was going on.

"So, what's up? I know something's been bothering you whole this week."

Malika risked a glance at him, but quickly diverted her gaze when she saw the concerned look in his eyes.

Merlin, why does it have to be this hard?

"Malika?"

She sighed. She had to go through with it now, no use in delaying it further.

"I can't do this anymore, Sirius." She glanced up at him. A confused look took over his eyes.

Malika quickly rushed on, again not looking at him. "I enjoyed everything we had, but I realised recently that there was something missing. I really like you, Sirius, but only as a friend, actually more like a brother, but not in a romantic sort of way. I…I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." At the last words, her voice wavered.

Sirius sat stunned for a few moments. He had dated many girls the last few years, but he was always the one to break things off and for a moment he was amazed at how much it bothered him and how much it actually did hurt.

It took some time before the truth really sunk in.

At last he spoke, softly and unbelieving.

"You're breaking up with me?"

Malika nodded meekly, but still didn't look at him.

"Please look at me?" He whispered.

Tears started streaming down Malika's face as she saw the heartbroken look on his face.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

Sirius slowly shook his head.

"If you are really sorry, then why are you doing this?"

Malika took a deep breath before answering. "I told you, I don't think I like you that way."

Sirius frowned. "You don't think? You don't know for sure then."

Malika only sighed frustrated at this, not knowing what to say.

"If you are not sure, Malika, then please think about it." He put his hand under her chin, and lifted her face to make her look him in the eye. "Because I think I'm in love with you."

Malika inhaled sharply, eyes wide.

The next moment, she averted her eyes again, her mind running in all directions at once, unable to process this information.

"Malika?"

She looked up again at him, finally able to formulate a whispered answer.

"I'll need some time to think about this."

"I'll give you all the time you need."

And with that, he stood up and returned to the castle, leaving Malika to her jumbled thoughts.

000

A little later, Sirius entered the boys' dormitory. The other Marauders looked up as he came in, immediately sensing something was wrong. James was the first to speak.

"What did she want, Padfoot?"

Sirius plopped down on his bed, before answering in a confused voice.

"I can't believe it, she broke up with me."

A heavy silence fell in the room, before it was broken by James' "What?", while the other boys were just staring at Sirius.

"Why would she do that?" Peter asked after another silence.

"I wish I knew," came Sirius' reply.

"I'm sorry mate." It was the first thing Remus had said, and he wasn't even sure he meant it.

On the one hand, he felt sorry for his friend. But on the other hand, Remus couldn't help the sense of glee that overtook him at the same time. For some reason, the knowledge that Malika was single again, made his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He had tried hard to store away his feelings for Malika, but it was no use. A part of him now began to hope for a chance with her, but he tried to ignore it. Why would she ever want to be with him, if she could get Sirius? A nagging voice in his mind reminded him that she apparently didn't want Sirius, but, again, he tried to ignore it. Remus shook his head to clear it, feeling guilty towards Sirius for sporting these thoughts now.

000

In the girls' dormitory, Lily too wanted to know how Malika's conversation with Sirius went.

"He didn't take it well." Malika bit her lip nervously.

"What happened? What did he say?" Lily looked at her inquisitively.

"He asked me to think about it again and…" She stopped abruptly, shaking her head sadly.

"And what?" Lily frowned.

"He told me he loved me." Malika whispered this, looking thoroughly confused.

Lily put her arms around her friend comfortingly.

"Don't let this confuse your feelings, Malika. If you don't feel the same, then he will have to live with that."

Malika nodded meekly, still more confused then she had ever been before in her life.

000

_Please review..._

Thanks to Kirsti ( ),Maggie( ) and S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e for your reviews.


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Only Malika (and Jane) belongs to me...

A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters so far (together with the next one)

Chapter 8

October 1994

On a dreary Monday in October, Malika was home early. She had finished the paperwork of her last case and didn't have anything else to do that day, so she had just gone home. She was reading a book on the couch when Remus came home.

As she looked up to greet him, Malika immediately noticed something was bothering him, although he did his best to mask it for her. Malika decided to ignore it for now, instead she said: "You had to go to the Werewolf Registry today, didn't you?"

He slumped down next to her on the couch, staring to the empty space in front of him.

"Yeah."

It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it, yet, Malika pressed on.

"How did it go?"

He frowned, but didn't answer right away.

"Remus?" Malika softly touched his arm, as she called his name.

He jerked his arm away from her and she started to feel sick as she took in this reaction. What did those idiots of the Ministry do now?

Finally he spoke in a frustrated tone.

"Do you know what the Ministry is up to at the moment?"

He faced her now, and she shook her head. He stared ahead of him again before continuing.

"After what happened at the World Cup, people are getting worried, and the ministry has to find someone to blame, they have to do something to prove they are looking out for the _safety_ of the people." He put an emphasis on the word safety.

"And who are easier to blame than Dark Creatures like us. They have installed a new law that says werewolves aren't allowed to find a job in the Muggle world anymore, for the safety of the Muggles, and another law states that every magical employer has the right to refuse us a job, simply because of what we are. I won't be able to find a job anymore, Malika." He whispered the last part.

Malika knew this was hard for him, he didn't really need to work, she earned enough to supportboth of them, but he felt like a burden to her and he hated it. She didn't really know how to comfort him, but when she heard his next words, she knew she had to do something.

"That's not everything, you know. I heard they are working on yet another law. A landlord will be able to turn us into the street whenever he wants, and they want to try to deny all werewolves the ownership of private property. It seems like they want to make us go live in the forest, like the vicious animals they think we are. I don't know why you still put up with me, Malika, you definitely deserve better, in the eyes of most people, I'm nothing but a monster."

"Stop it!" Malika interrupted him and he jumped at the angry sound of her voice.

"I don't want to hear you say or even think such things, Remus, you know that. Please, look at me."

When he didn't look at her, she put her hand on his cheek and turned his head to face her. He took a shuddering breath at her touch, and as she looked in his eyes she saw the pain in them.

Malika whispered her next words. "There are many reasons why I 'put up with you' as you call it, so I will name a few of them, you are kind, handsome, smart, gallant, funny, considerate, caring and loving and a whole lot of other things, but most important, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You are an amazing man, Remus Lupin, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." As an afterthought, she added, "And don't think you can get rid of me this easy, you're stuck with me."

He smiled faintly now and the pain in his eyes was replaced by gratitude and love.

"Thank you, I love you too," he whispered back to her.

The next moment, Malika pressed her lips against his, and Remus responded eagerly, with a passion that was fired by the negative thoughts he had earlier and his need to get rid of them.

Later that night, Malika was lying in their bed with Remus's arms tightly around her while he slept, as if he feared she might disappear if he didn't hold her tight. She was wondering if there was anything she could do to help, knowing Remus was one of the lucky ones who had someone to rely on, while many werewolves were completely alone, abandoned by everyone under the pressure of society.

Before she finally drifted off to sleep, another thought struck her. It was a good thing the apartment was registered on her name.

* * *

October 1976 (Marauders 7th year) 

It had been a few weeks since Malika had broken up with Sirius, and in that time she had tried to go on with her life as normal as possible.

Except that it wasn't that easy.

The girls still hang out with the Marauders, but it seemed like the world had turned upside down, because now it was Lily who was draggingMalika over to the boys.

Sirius seemed to do everything to get Malika's attention, to make her see she had made a mistake, and to get her back. The problem was, however, that this was getting well on Malika's nerves, while at the same time the girl was hopelessly confused about her feelings.

At last, she had decided to try a new way to sort her feelings out.

In order to find out who she might really like, she had recently started flirting and dating with other guys.

She had been seen flirting with some Ravenclaws, had dated actually one of them, two weeks later she was dating a Huffelpuff, but that didn't last very long either.

Finally, for some reason, she had been flirting with Severus Snape, and that proved to be not one of her smarter moves.

She had agreed to meet Snape in an empty classroom. She had no idea why she did it, or why he seemed suddenly interested in her, but she ignored the voice in her head that kept telling her this was a very bad idea anyway.

They had been talking a bit, just making small talk, when they heard footsteps coming. On the exact moment the door to the room opened, Snape pulled her towards him and started kissing her.

Malika was so shocked she didn't react immediately, but soon her common sense kicked in. She pushed Snape away and turned around, to find the Marauders standing in the doorway, all staring at her with shock, anger and disgust on their faces.

James was the first to recover.

"What's going on here?" Malika had never heard him sound this angry.

To everyone's surprise, it was Sirius who answered in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

"It's quite obvious what's going on here I think." He threw a quick look at Malika and left the room.

"Tell me what the hell isgoing on, before I hex both of you." James repeated.

Malika was just too shocked to reply, but Snape seemedto know exactly what to say.

"What do you think it is, Potter, of course you don't believe I really would want anything to do with a mudblood like her. This was such an easy way to get to Black that I just couldn't let the chance pass me, and it obviously worked."

With that, Snape hurried out of the room, trying to get away without being hexed to oblivion. James and Peter immediately went after him, but Remus stayed with Malika.

Malika couldn't really proceed what had just happened. She knew he hated the Marauders to no extent, but she had never expected him to use her this way. However, she hadn't much time to think about this now, as Remus took her by the arm and pulled her with him, back to their common room. He kept silent the whole way back, but by the look on his face she could see he was furious.

As they entered the common room, he forced her in an armchair.

"Why the hell did you do that for." He all but yelled. Malika cringed visibly.

"You should have known he only wanted to use you against Sirius. What were you thinking. It's worse enough you've been dating around with everyone who might be interested, but I never thought you would lower yourself like that," he ranted, "Don't ever do such a thing again, Malika. Tomorrow, the whole school will probably talk about it, and who knows what more they will say about you. I want you to stop with this right now."

Now, Malika was getting angry too. How dare he tell her what to do and what not.

She got up out of her chair and stood straight before him. He was still glaring at her, but now she was glaring back with just as much fury.

"How dare you, Remus Lupin, tell me what to do. This is my life, and I am fully capable of making my own decisions. It is not up to you to look out for me and you have certainly no right to tell me how to live my life. If I want to 'date around' as you call it, then I can do so, and you cannot stop me. My lovelife is none of your business. And if you don't like the way I live my life, then I don't think I need you to be a part of it."

Remus stared at her for a few moments, looking as if she had slapped him in the face. Then, he turned around and left the common room, without saying another word.

Malika stared after him, not really comprehending what this was all about, but too angry to care anyway. A voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"That wasn't really fair, Malika."

Malika turned around sharply, to find Lily sitting on the couch near the fire. Apparently, the girl had been there all along.

"I don't know what exactly happened, to make Remus go off like that, but I do know that you shouldn't have said those things."

Malika frowned, but before she could get angry again, Lily continued quickly.

"You are right when you say he can't make your decisions, but I think he has a point about you dating all those boys. You are doing that because you are confused, but it won't get you anywhere, it can only confuse you more." Malika sighed, knowing Lily was probably right. She wanted to say something, but Lily wasn't finished yet.

"And you shouldn't have told Remus your lovelife is none of his business, because I believe it is."

Now, Malika was genuinely confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lily sighed now in an almost exasperated sort of way.

"Are you telling me you don't know?"

When Malika kept staring blankly at her friend, Lily explained. "Have you really never noticed the way Remus looks at you? Like you are the most perfect creature that walks this Earth. Have you never noticed how he is always willing to help you out, no matter what, even if it meant covering up for you and Sirius to sneak away? He would do anything for you, Malika. I know he tried his hardest to push away his feelings for you while you were with Sirius, but it has always been obvious, even for the other boys, and that says something." Lily rolled her eyes at this. "Anyway, he loves you, Malika. You shouldn't push him away like that."

To say Malika was shocked, is an understatement. Never had the thought occurred to her that Remus felt that way about her. But now she thought about it, she felt stupid. He showed it in so many ways that it had been plain obvious, but at the same time, she was so used to him acting that way that she had never thought about it or the reason why. Now, however, she did think about it. It was in the way he always offered to carry her things for her, how he opened the door for her, handed her her favourite foods during meals without her asking, saving her a seat when she was late, buying the presents she liked the most, saying the right words to comfort her when she was sad, and the way he softly kissed her cheek. He didn't do those things for any other girl, not even Lily, while they were close friends too. At that point, Malika realised something else, Remus had never dated anyone, although she knew there were many girls who liked him, he just wasn't interested in them, but Malika had never asked herself for what reason. Now she knew, and she had never felt more stupid in her entire life. On top of it, she felt guilty, she knew she had deeply hurt him by what she said.

Malika stared into the fire for some time, before coming to a decision and rising from her seat.

Lily looked up to her expectantly with a questioning gaze.

"Do you know where Sirius is?"

"I saw him go to his dormitory before you and Remus entered, why?"

"I'm going to apologize to Sirius first, and then I'm going to find Remus, and talk to him."

Lily smiled. "Good luck."

As Malika climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitory, she figured she would need a whole lot of good luck to clear out the mess she had made.

000

_Please review..._

Thanks to S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e and Celi for your reviews.


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own only Malika and Jane, the rest belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Chapter 9

November 1994

A few weeks had passed since that day in October, when Remus had told Malika about the new laws the Ministry wanted to establish. When he had told her, Malika couldn't really believe the Ministry would go that far, but by mid-November it had been proven to her he was right.

The 'new decrees for control and regulation of dangerous creatures', as the Ministry had officially named them, had been inaugurated on November 12th.

A storm of protests had followed them.

Only two days later, the Ministry had been washed over with angry werewolves and their relatives from all over Britain, who had come to protest against the injustice of the new decrees.

Malika and a few of her fellow-aurors had been assigned to keep the angry masses in check and to make sure no violence was used.

It was however with mixed feelings that she carried out this job, and only to make sure no-one got injured during the demonstrations. However, she stubbornly refused to arrest people, and she was disgusted by the way some of the other aurors seemed to relish in the fact they could take some of the demonstrators into custody.

For the first time in her career as an auror, Malika started to really close herself off from her colleagues, who didn't understand why she would care anyway.

The truth was, Malika really wanted to take part in the demonstrations, but she didn't dare to risk her job by actually doing it.

When she came home from work that day, it was obvious Remus had been waiting for her impatiently. He knew what would happen that day, of course, although he didn't go himself, and he had been worrying about Malika all day.

Malika had barely entered their apartment when he pulled her in his arms.

"Hey, I was worried about you, how did it go?"

Malika leaned into his embrace.

"It was terrible. All these people were so angry and disappointed in our government, and I was supposed to defend the Ministry, while I wanted nothing more than be one of the demonstrators, but I couldn't because it could cost me my job."

Remus guided her to the couch, and pulled her into his lap. Malika sighed and cuddled close to him. They sat in silence for a while, until Malika spoke again.

"What bothered me the most was the behaviour of the other aurors who were there with me. They seemed to be enjoying the fact they could arrest innocent people. They didn't understand why I didn't arrest anyone. They are really getting on my nerves sometimes, with their ignorance and narrow-minded talk. Sometimes I just want to get out of there, find a job elsewhere."

"I thought you loved your work as an auror, you can't just quit like that. Don't let them get to you, Malika, it has nothing to do with you."

Malika pulled away slightly, so she could look into his face.

"But it has to do with me, because I love you. I can only imagine their reaction when they find out I've actually been living together, and sleeping, with a werewolf for years."

Remus frowned a bit. "Would it matter, if they find out?"

Malika smiled at him. "It would to them, but I don't care a damn what they think or say."

"But you do care, you said it yourself, you're even thinking about quitting your job."

"No, that's not what I meant, and you know it. Don't start feeling guilty again, because nothing of it is your fault, okay?"

He smiled back now. "I promise, if you promise you won't quit your job just because you can't stand some of your colleagues."

"I promise."

They sealed their promises with a kiss.

* * *

October 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

Sirius was lying on his bed and thinking over the events of that evening.

The Marauders had been planning their next prank and their escape route on the Map, when they noticed Malika alone in an empty classroom. All of a sudden, Snape had appeared and headed obviously for the same classroom Malika was in.

They had thought she was in trouble, and so they immediately went to her rescue. However, the situation had turned out to be completely different.

Sirius couldn't believe what he saw then. It was hard enough to see Malika dating those other boys, but to see her kissing with his enemy, it didn't only hurt, it made him furious. He had thought about going after Snape, but he thought against it, because, for some reason, he didn't want Malika to be mad at him. Sirius had to admit he didn't really understand his own way of thinking at the moment.

Suddenly, his train of thought was interrupted by a soft knock on the door, and the next moment, Malika entered the room, looking very insecure, and very beautiful, Sirius thought.

But he decided against saying anything and let her break the awkward silence between them.

"Hey," Malika bit her lip, "can we talk?"

Sirius only shrugged, and kept staring at the ceiling.

Malika carefully approached his bed, thinking a shrug was better than getting yelled at, she had had enough of that from Remus already.

"I wanted to apologize for my behaviour these past weeks and this evening. I wasn't really thinking."

"That much is obvious."

"I'm sorry alright."

"You didn't really look like it while you were kissing Snivelly."

Sirius inwardly chided himself for reacting like this, but he just couldn't help feeling angry.

Malika sighed. "I didn't kiss him, Sirius, and I didn't want to either, he kissed me the moment you guys entered. In fact, that was the only reason why he kissed me. He only used me to get to you."

By now, Sirius was staring at her. Malika turned her head away from him before continuing.

"I'm really sorry, I feel so stupid, I made a mess of everything. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, I mean, I was at first, but not anymore. I could never stay mad at you for a long time."

They looked at each other, and both smiled.

Then, Malika frowned again and hesitated a moment before asking, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Depends on what it is."

"I have to find Remus, but I have no idea where to look."

Sirius frowned too now, wondering with a pang of jealousy what was going on.

"Why do you have to find him?"

Malika looked troubled. "Like I said, I made a mess of everything. He was pretty mad at me for what happened and I got mad too, and, well, I said some nasty stuff I didn't really mean. He left the common room after that, and I think I really hurt him."

A heavy silence fell between both friends. After a moment, Sirius got up from his bed, and went to retrieve something from his bag. Malika watched as he opened some piece of parchment, whispered something and looked it over.

At last, he turned to the girl. "I think I know where to find him, but you must have gotten him really upset to go there." He gazed at her pensively for a moment, before coming to a decision.

"I'll take you to him, but first you have to promise me something. You will tell no-one about the place I'll bring you to and you won't ask any questions about it. Swear it to me now."

Malika frowned, but obeyed none-the-less. "I swear."

She followed Sirius out of the dormitory and the common room. As they were walking through the castle, Sirius was constantly looking around him while at the same time keeping an eye on the piece of parchment Malika had seen him use earlier.

Soon, they left the castle behind them and walked across the grounds, they appeared to be walking in the direction of the Whomping Willow and Malika had no idea where they were off to, but she didn't dare to ask questions. As they reached the tree with his endless swinging branches, Sirius picked up a stick from the ground, and to Malika's amazement he prodded the tree with it and it stopped moving immediately.

Then, he ushered her into a tunnel that started at the base of the Willow, and after he had entered the tunnel too he lighted his wand and led the way through it. The tunnel was dark and long and Malika had bumped her head against some roots of trees, but she didn't want to ask how much further it was, she had promised to not ask questions. Finally, they reached the end of the tunnel, and as they climbed out of it, they appeared to be in the basement of a house. Sirius took her to the ground floor.

"He is probably upstairs in one of the bedrooms," he whispered quietly in her ear and with these words, he returned to the basement and disappeared.

Malika took a look around the small house and felt her heart beating faster in her chest. The scarce furniture was mostly destroyed, torn apart and covered with teeth marks and blood. The light of the setting sun was shining through cracks in the walls. Malika was sure she had never been here, but somehow, the place still seemed familiar. It took some time before she realised she was in the Shrieking Shack, the most haunted place in Britain. Only, this house didn't look like it was haunted by ghosts, but more like it housed some wild animal or something.

As those thoughts occurred to her, she remembered something Sirius had said, about Remus being really upset, if he had come to this place. Finally, everything clicked in her mind, this must be the place where Remus came on full moons to transform. She felt a shiver go down her spine as she looked around the place once more, and was relieved that tonight was not the full moon. She quickly turned away from the small living room she was in, and headed for the stairs, while thinking to herself that all in all, this was a place where one could be alone, if one didn't want to be found.

000

Remus was sitting in one of the bedrooms of the Shrieking Shack, in his mind repeating the events of that evening over and over again.

When he had left the common room earlier, after his argument with Malika, he needed to be alone and so he went to the place with the smallest chance to be disturbed, all the way trying his hardest to keep his tears at bay. But as he sank down on the floor of the bedroom where he transformed on full moons, he couldn't stop the tears from coming. Malika's words kept repeating over and over again in his head.

How could she say those things? How could she say she didn't want him in her life? He knew he shouldn't have yelled at her and he felt terrible for doing so. But was that enough reason for her to end their friendship? It had been hard enough to see her date someone else while he was only her friend. How would he ever be able to handle it when she didn't want anything to do with him? He had never really believed she would ever see him as more than a friend, besides, who could ever love a Dark Creature like him? But knowing she cared about him, if only as a friend, had given him a bit of comfort, and now he had lost her friendship too. Never in his life had he felt this miserable, she had broken his heart without even knowing, and it was by his own stupid mistake. If only he had kept his mouth shut, as he did other times, for the first time he had really spoken up against one of his closest friends, and now one of his worst nightmares had come true. He had lost her.

Remus was suddenly pulled out of his gradually becoming more depressed thoughts by a sound on the stairs. Someone was coming up the stairs. The next moment, a sweet scent of roses and lavender reached him, a scent he knew all too well. Malika.

A wave of panic rushed through him. What was she doing here and how did she get here? Someone must have told her. How could they do this to him? She would certainly ask questions about this place and eventually find out about his lycanthropy. This just couldn't get any worse.

000

As Malika reached the top of the stairs, she quietly went over to the only bedroom door that stood slightly ajar. She peeked her head around the door and was relieved to find Remus sitting in a corner of the room, his arms wrapped around his knees and his head lying on his arms.

She walked towards him and seated herself beside him. If he had noticed her come in, he didn't show it, although Malika was sure he knew she was there.

"Hey," she said quietly, "I've come to apologize for what I said."

Remus didn't react, and Malika had a strange sense of déjà-vu, only a little time before she had been in the same situation with Sirius.

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said those things, I didn't mean it anyway."

"Then why did you say it?" His voice was muffled because he still didn't lift his head.

"Because I was angry, and because I knew you were right, but I know that isn't an excuse." A silence fell between them. Remus still refused to talk and Malika was thinking about the right thing to say next. At last, she decided to ask the question that was burning in her mind.

"After you left, Lily told me something, and I would like to know if it is true." She paused for a moment before finishing. "She told me you're inlovewith me."

Finally Remus lifted his head and faced her, eyes wide in shock, and Malika could see he had been crying. Now she felt even more guilty.

While Malika had been talking, Remus couldn't bring himself to look at her, he didn't want her to see him like this, but when she had said those last words he was too shocked to think about it. It had never occurred to him that other people might notice how he felt and more important, tell Malika. He didn't want her to find out, but now that she knew, he found himself unable to lie to her. Malika looked back at him with a gentle, inquiring look on her face. She looked so beautiful at the moment, and all he wanted to do was kiss her and hold her in his arms and never let her go, but he couldn't do that. Instead, he nervously licked his lips before whispering, "I am, I love you."

They stared into each others eyes for a few moments, and for a second, Remus seriously considered kissing her, but then she turned her head away and gazed at her hands resting on her knees.

An awkward silence fell between them, while both were trying to sort out their thoughts.

Malika was the first to speak again.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Remus. I care a lot about you. But I just broke up with Sirius a few weeks ago. I'm still sorting out my feelings, which are completely mixed up at the moment. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship right now. I hope you can understand I need time to think about all of this."

For the second time that evening, Remus was completely shocked by her words. He had expected her to tell him she saw him only as a friend, that he didn't stand any chance. Instead, she had sounded like she was actually considering a relationship with him. He knew she didn't want to give him too much hope, but he couldn't help it. Her words had given him more hope than he had ever dared to have before.

Malika was looking worriedly at Remus, taking in his shocked face, and afraid she had hurt him again. She had never meant to hurt him, and she hated herself for doing so.

Finally, he stammered, "I understand."

Malika bit her lip. "I don't want to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you."

Remus smiled slightly. "It's alright."

Malika smiled too. "Thanks, I don't think I could bear to lose your friendship."

Remus felt warmth spread all through him, she still wanted to be his friend, and who knows, maybe even more. He was disappointed when she stood up.

"Let's get back to the castle now, before anyone starts to ask questions."

Remus got up too, he was surprised when she pulled him in a hug and gladly returned it, revelling in the feeling of holding her in his arms, if only for a moment, and deeply breathing in her scent. They stood like that for a moment, before letting go of each other and returning to the castle in a comfortable silence.

It never occurred to Remus that Malika did never ask any question about the place where she had found him that night.

000

_Please Review..._

Thanks toCeli and S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e for your reviews.


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer : I only own Malika and Jane, everything else belongs to J. K. Rowling

Chapter 10

December 1994

Things had gone from bad to worse at the Ministry since the inauguration of the 'new decrees for control and regulation of dangerous creatures'. In the course of the last month, many werewolves had been enforced to hand over their houses to the Ministry. Of course, many protests had followed that first one in November, but it didn't make any difference at all. For some reason, some high-placed people obviously wanted to make life impossible for all British werewolves.

Malika didn't really understand what exactly was going on in the Ministry. She had been trying to get some information as to why these unreasonable laws were invented and the only thing she had come across was a woman called Dolores Umbridge, who hated what she called 'half-breeds' and most of all, werewolves, and who was making her way up in Minister Fudge's circle or trustees at an almost terrifying speed. Apparently this Umbridge-woman and her opinions were the main cause behind all these new laws.

Since Malika came upon this little piece of information, she had been thinking of a way to counteract her opponent, but sadly, she was only an Auror with no power to stop Umbridge.

The full moon in December fell on the 21st.

Like every full moon for the last few years, Malika had stayed with Remus, except, of course, while he was teaching at Hogwarts. That had actually been another reason why she was glad he was back home, she had been worrying sick about him when he had to spent the full moon alone.

Remus still didn't like her seeing himin his werewolf-form, but he had learned a long time ago that it was of no use to try and convince her to stay away from him during the full moon. She would stay with him anyway, and if that was what she wanted, who was he to stop her. Besides, after spending many lonely transformations at Hogwarts while he was teaching, he had realised how much Malika's support during the full moon meant for him.

She didn't only stay with him the whole time, accepting him completely by just being there. After his transformation to wolf-form, she would stroke him and massage him to ease the pains, and then she would curl up next to him and make himself feel at peace by simply lying there with her body pressed against his. When the moon had set in the morning, she would clean his wounds, bring him some breakfast and fill him a bath so he could relax his sore muscles. The day after the full moon, she would always take the day off from work, although he had assured her over and over he could take care of himself, she just told him she wanted to stay with him.

Remus knew why Malika insisted on staying with him, she still felt guilty for abandoning him when he had needed her the most, and he had told her she didn't have to, but she had dismissed it, saying she just wanted to be there for him.

They didn't talk about these things anymore. Remus was really thankful for what Malika did for him and didn't dare to jinx it and cause trouble in their relationship by bringing up the past.

Malika just liked the way they had organized their life, hoping it could stay like this for a very long time.

Fate however had decided otherwise.

Like every other morning after the full moon, Malika had tended to Remus until he was sleeping peacefully and then she had settled on the couch with a book.

All of a sudden, the quiet was disrupted by a voice calling her name from the fireplace in front of her.

"Malika, you have to come to Auror Headquarters as soon as possible, we are having a crisis here and they want all Aurors to help."

Jane's concerned face had appeared in the fireplace. Malika put down her book quickly and kneeled on the floor to face her friend.

"What's going on? You know I have the day off today."

"I know, but like I said, there are some problems and they want everyone here."

"Wait a second, what kind of crisis are you talking about?"

Malika was starting to get really worried now. It had to be something big to have them call her in on her day off and to have Jane distraught like she was. For a moment, Malika wondered if they possibly had found Sirius, but she dismissed that thought quickly.

Jane shifted uncomfortably after Malika's last question and gave an evasive answer.

"You will see that when you get here. Now, please come quickly."

Malika sighed. "Alright, I'll come. Give me a minute to write a note for Remus. I'll be there in ten minutes."

Jane said her goodbyes and disappeared, while Malika got up and started to get ready for an unexpected day of work, all the while wondering what had happened but not at all prepared for the situation she would have to face.

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

When Malika and Remus had returned from the Shrieking Shack, Malika had gone straight up to her dormitory. She had done a lot of thinking that night and had realized she had handled things the wrong way.

Dating around was not something she did, she didn't like it anyway. She much rather hang out with her friends, something she had missed a lot the weeks before. True, she had seen them, but things weren't the same.

Malika easily decided to just drop her search for her 'Prince Charming' for now and just have fun with her friends.

After that, everything seemed to go back to normal in her life.

More or less.

That is, if one overlooked the little alterations in behaviour of some people. Little things had started to change and they became more and more obvious as time went by.

October became November and November turned into December.

The first week of December brought a lot of snow to the Hogwarts grounds and one day after classes, Malika and Lily were dragged outside and into a true snowball war by the Marauders. At first, it had been girls against boys, but after the girls had convinced Peter to attack the boys' camp from the inside for them, followed by the Marauders leaving their camp and invade the girls' camp, where Sirius made a point of attacking Malika with snowball after snowball, at which Remus attacked Sirius to 'defend the lady' and Malika responded by attacking Remus, claiming she didn't need to be defended because she was able to defend herself, thank you very much, then it became everyone against everyone. Although Malika had noticed James mostly defending Lily and attacking whoever dared to throw even the least bit of snow towards her, except, of course, when he was the one who launched the snowball.

After their snowball fight, they had dinner in the Great Hall.

Remus and Sirius made a point of sitting next to Malika, like they had been doing since October. Both of them had been paying a lot of attention to her all these weeks, making sure to show how they felt about her. She couldn't even go anywhere without at least one of them showing up. Sometimes they annoyed her, but she didn't say anything about it, she knew they meant well.

After dinner, they all headed towards Gryffindor Tower, but Sirius held Malika back and pulled her into an empty classroom.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Malika's voice sounded a bit confused, although she had an inkling as to what was going on.

"I wanted to talk to you, alone. Lately, I haven't really been able to speak to you alone, mainly because you never seem to be alone anymore."

Mainly, he thought to himself, because Moony is around most of the time.

But Sirius couldn't let her know he was jealous. He was still hoping for another chance, and picking an argument wouldn't help him. That was probably also the reason why Sirius and Remus hadn't had any argument about Malika, although there was an obvious tension between both friends. They both knew they wouldn't help their case by fighting over her, besides, they didn't want to fight anyway. But it had been difficult for Sirius to control his temper whenever he saw Remus and Malika sitting close, talking softly.

If Sirius was really honest with himself, he couldn't blame Remus for taking his chance with Malika now, Sirius had done the same thing before, trying to get close to her, knowing full well about his friend's feelings. Remus had told them what had happened in the Shrieking Shack, how Lily apparently had told Malika about Remus' feelings, it appeared to be enough reason for the young werewolf to take his chance with her. Sirius knew his friend deserved a chance at happiness, but he couldn't help feeling really jealous.

Sirius was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost missed Malika's answer.

"Well, the reason why I'm never alone these days, is because you guys don't stop following me everywhere."

"I don't follow you."

"Right, you just only seem to always go where I'm going."

A tense silence fell between the two of them. Finally, Sirius spoke again.

"Alright, maybe I follow you sometimes, I'm sorry if it bothers you. But that is not what I wanted to talk about."

Malika faced him expectantly.

"Don't you know why I follow you? I want to spent time with you. I miss what we had, Malika. It's been more than a month, didn't you have enough time to think about it by now? Can't we give it another chance?"

Malika turned away from him. What could she say? It wasn't the first time he had asked this question. But how could they expect her to sort out her feelings, if they never gave her some space. Maybe she had to clarify that for him.

"I told you before that I need time to think, Sirius, to sort out my feelings. The problem is, you never give me a chance to be alone with my thoughts. I need some space too. Therefore, I need you to stop following me around."

"I understand. What about Remus?"

Malika turned her gaze back to Sirius.

"What about him?"

"Doesn't he have to stop following you?"

"He never followed me the way you do, Sirius, but I promise you I will tell him the same things I told you."

Another silence fell between the two. Again, Sirius was the first to speak.

"Alright. I'll give you space." And after a moment he added. "You know where to find me if you miss me." This broke the tension a bit and Malika smiled back at him.

Her dazzling smile made his heart beat faster, he wanted to kiss her more than ever. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him, but even more so, he wanted to remind her of how good it felt when they were together.

Before both realized what was happening, Sirius bent towards her and captured her lips in a soft kiss.

Malika was stunned for a few moments. He had just agreed to give her more space, and now he was kissing her? What was wrong with him. Couldn't he take no for an answer?

After a moment, Sirius released her and Malika backed a few steps away from him, eyes wide with shock.

Sirius immediately realized he made a mistake. He tried to apologize, but Malika didn't give him a chance. Without saying another word, she fled from the classroom.

000

Malika went straight to the library. She was a bit shocked after what happened and needed a little time alone to think and the library was a place where her friends wouldn't immediately think to look for her, more so because she was to meet Remus and Lily in an hour there, and usually, Malika wasn't one to be an hour early.

Then again, being kissed by a friend, who happened to be her ex-boyfriend wasn't a daily occurrence either.

Sirius.

How could he do that to her?

Didn't he listen to a single word she had said?

Was it so hard to accept her wishes?

For the first fifteen minutes, Malika just sat in her chair, staring into space and repeating the same thoughts over and over. She thought back to what had happened, analyzing it, trying to figure out how to handle all of this.

In the same time, she tried to sort out her feelings. Had she liked the kiss? Had she wanted it to happen?

She had to admit she liked the kiss. But did that mean she wanted to go back to Sirius?

How was it possible to feel so confused over something that seemed so simple?

Could she be mad at Sirius over it? She was a little annoyed, true, but could she blame him?

Malika realized she was the one who was letting him wait, always delaying to give him a final answer, while at the same time someone else was trying to get close to her.

Her mind then drifted to Remus. It was obvious now how much he liked her, he had been showing it in so many little ways since October, but he was always very subtle, he made sure to never do anything that could create awkwardness between them, he gave her enough space to breath, and he never tried to push her into dating him, like Sirius seemed to do all the time lately.

If Remus would ask her, what would she answer? She had never thought about that question before.

It was not fair, how could they expect her to choose one of them, when they didn't really give her a chance to sort things out.

On the other hand, she realized, was it fair of her to let them wait like this?

She knew she had to make a decision, then, but how could she do that? She didn't want to hurt any of them.

Malika was pulled out of her thoughts when someone sat down across from her, she glanced up to meet a pair of concerned-looking emerald green eyes gazing back at her.

"Want to tell me what's bothering you?" Lily spoke in a soft, soothing voice.

Malika merely shrugged her shoulders, she didn't really feel like talking now.

"You seemed to be in deep thoughts, I know that look you had, something must have happened."

Malika heaved a sigh. "Something happened, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I want to figure some things out for myself first. But I'll tell you later, alright?"

Lily nodded and smiled. "Sure."

The next moment, Remus arrived at their table and sat down next to Malika and soon the three friends were making their homework.

An hour later, Malika was finishing the last touches of her essay for transfiguration when she glanced at her friends. Lily had almost finished, but Remus was still reading the same chapter in his charms book he had been reading half an hour ago. Malika frowned, usually he finished his work before her, and now he wasn't even halfway while she had almost finished.

She reached out and nudged his arm lightly.

Remus jumped a little, he was startled by Malika's light touch that had pulled him out of his thoughts, ironically, it were thoughts about her and doing other things than making homework together. He couldn't help the blush that crept on his cheeks as he turned towards her.

Malika felt her heart skip a beat when she saw him blush a little as he looked back at her, but she decided to ignore it.

Instead she asked, "Are you alright?"

Remus nodded, then he glanced towards her now finished homework. "Finished everything already?"

"yeah." A silence fell between them, and for the first time in a very long time, Malika didn't know what to say to him. As she looked into his eyes, she felt her mind go blank for a moment, and she felt like she could stare in those amber eyes forever. Then, her mind sprang back to life with a voice in her head demanding what exactly was going on with her, and she quickly averted her eyes.

After another short silence, Remus was the first to speak again.

"Malika, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She didn't dare to look up as she answered.

"I'm having a bit trouble with this chapter for charms, could you help me?"

Now, Malika did look up, astonished over his question. Remus Lupin problems with charms? Right. He was better at charms than Malika. She had no idea why he would ask her this, but if he wanted her help she could only accept.

The next moment, he had scooted his chair closer to hers, and they were bent over his charms book together.

Sitting so close to her, Remus could barely concentrate on anything she was saying. Her scent was intoxicating him more and more with every breath he took. The skin of his arm was tingling where he could feel her touch through his clothes. He could feel her every move, hear every breath she took (strange, he thought, because he couldn't really hear what she was saying). He wanted to reach out to her, hold her in his arms, kiss her… Suddenly he realized she wasn't bent over the book anymore, but she was watching him with a look of confusion and worry on her face, and finally he could hear her voice again.

"…you there? Remus? Earth to Remus? Can you hear me?"

Malika had been explaining some charm when she noticed Remus wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. After four times of calling his name, she lifted her hand and waved it before his eyes to get his attention. Finally, that seemed to work, because he caught her hand, gave a peck on the back her hand and laid it on the table.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Her voice sounded concerned. Concerned for him, he thought, warmth spreading all through him.

"Yes, I'm just a bit tired I guess."

"You seemed to have some trouble concentrating. Is that because you are tired? Or is something bothering you? You know you can always talk to me about anything, I'm here for you when you need me. Or if you need anything else, if I can help you, just ask."

There were so many things Remus wanted to tell her. How he wanted to kiss her, to take her in his arms and never let go. He wanted to tell her how jealous he was when she was with Sirius, and how afraid he was that she would return to Sirius too. But he couldn't tell her anything of that, he didn't want to put her under pressure, he wanted her to make her own decisions. Besides, he thought dejectedly, she would be better off with Sirius anyway than with a werewolf like himself. There was only one answer he could give.

"Thanks Malika, I'll keep that in mind. But everything's alright with me, I'm just really tired and I seem to have some trouble concentrating in general lately."

Now, that was an understatement. He had been having trouble to focus on anything except her for the last three days. The full moon was coming closer and his already heightened senses were working in overdrive. Wherever he went and whatever he did, everywhere he could pick up her scent out of a million others and he found he couldn't think about anything else but her, it was driving him crazy, but the only thing he could do was wait until the full moon had passed. It had never been like this before, except for the last full moon, and he could only assume it had to do with what happened in October. She had given him more hope than he ever dared to have before that day, and unconsciously he had allowed himself to keep that hope up. Somehow all of this seemed to have this strange effect on him, and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Alright then," Malika was saying, "but if you keep having troubles, you should probably go to madam Pomfrey with this."

"I will." Remus felt his heart beating faster in his chest at her words, it didn't happen very often that someone was this concerned about him. He swallowed when she smiled softly at him and he felt her hand squeezing his lightly, only then he realized he was still holding her hand. He knew then he had to get out of here, or else he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing her.

Luckily, Malika seemed to have reached a similar conclusion. She had been observing Remus closely during their conversation, and she was sure something was going on. She didn't have any idea as to what, but the intense look in his eyes and his reaction as she had squeezed his hand told her it had something to do with her and she decided it was better to get them out of this situation. She let go of his hand reluctantly, only now realizing how comfortable she felt with holding his hand.

"Let's go back to the common room then, shall we?"

Malika turned to see if Lily was ready, only to find her friend absent, apparently she had left somewhere during her exchange with Remus.

A few moments later, Malika and Remus made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, both lost in their own thoughts.

000

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Thanks to Celi, S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.fe and Yasmine Lupin for your reviews.


	12. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I only own Malika and Jane, everything else belongs to J. K. Rowling…

A/N: I know there is a terrible cliché somewhere in this chapter, but I just couldn't resist.

Chapter 11

December 1994

Auror headquarters was in quite an uproar when Malika arrived ten minutes later. Aurors were getting themselves ready to go on their assignment, orders were shouted over the noise, people were hurrying to and fro the office of the Head Auror, it was almost as bad the day they heard Sirius had escaped from prison.

Through this mess, Malika managed to find her own desk, Jane was waiting for her with a troubled look on her face.

"Are you going to tell me now what is going on here? It must be something big to have everyone in such a state and to make you look so anxious."

Jane shook her head. "It is something rather big, but they're making it more of a deal with the way they are handling it."

Malika stared bemusedly towards her friend.

"What are you talking about, Jane, who do you mean by 'they'. And why are you trying to get out of telling me what is happening here?"

Malika started to get worried, she had never seen Jane acting like this, her friend seemed to be afraid to tell her what was going on.

"You're not going to like this, Malika."

"Tell me now, Jane."

Jane glanced around her quickly, before returning her gaze back to Malika with a sigh.

"Alright. Listen, something happened last night…", she hesitated, but continued upon seeing her friend's annoyed look.

"You know it was a full moon last night…"

The Auror received an 'of-course-and-you-know-that-don't-be-obvious'-look from Malika. Jane was in fact one of the few people who knew about Malika's relationship with known werewolf Remus Lupin.

She took a breath and continued quickly, as if she wanted to have everything said and done as soon as possible.

"There have been quite a number of werewolf-attacks last night, more than there have ever been in one night at once. If this knowledge reaches the public, it will cause a mass-panic, according to some people who work closely with the minister, and of course, Fudge can't have that now, it could cost him his job. Therefore, Fudge has given orders to 'make sure this never happens again', which has been translated by our superiors as 'arrest every werewolf who was possibly running free last night, and send them straight off to Azkaban'. That is what they expect us to do too, they want us to hunt down werewolves."

Malika's face had become deathly pale by the time Jane had finished and she was trembling all over her body, partially from anger and partially from fear for Remus' well-being, because it started to look like the Ministry wanted to get rid off every single werewolf in the country.

It took Malika a few moments before she was able to speak, and Jane was watching her worriedly. When Malika finally found her voice, she talked in a very quiet and menacing tone that made Jane hope to never get her friend this angry towards her.

"How dare they do this, bastards. It's their own fault something like this happened. I'm going to have a word with whoever is after this stunt."

"Malika, don't do anything stupid…" Jane tried to hold her friend back, but Malika pushed her away and headed towards the office of the Head Auror.

After a heated argument with the Head Auror and a few high-placed Ministry officials, Malika returned to her cubicle and started to pack her things. Jane immediately hurried towards her friend.

"How did it go?"

"Those idiots didn't even listen to a word I said." She was furiously shrinking her stuff and putting them away in her backpack, barely even looking what she was putting away.

"What are you doing?"

Malika didn't even answer this time, she merely ignored the other woman.

"Malika, what's going on? Why are you packing your stuff?"

By now, Malika had packed all her stuff and she finally faced her friend, Jane was startled by the cold look in her eyes.

"I'm not working for people who willingly make murderers of other people, just to have a reason to lock them up because in fact they just can't get over the fact that they are a bit different. And frankly, I can't believe you can stand here and do nothing about it but bow at their wishes. I'm out of here. Goodbye, Jane."

And with that, she headed out of headquarters, leaving Jane stunned with only her friend's last words to think about.

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

After Malika had left the classroom, Sirius stood a few moments staring at the place where she had been, before cursing himself for his stupidity and dejectedly returning to the Gryffindor common room.

His friends were sitting in their usual chairs near the fire, but he didn't feel like joining them, instead he sulkily climbed the stairs to the dormitory. He launched himself on his bed and looked around for something to occupy his mind. His eyes fell on the pillow that was lying on Peter's bed, Sirius summoned the pillow and started charming it in several ways and transfiguring it accordingly.

The pillow had taken the form of a small, very white and fluffy flying dog that was somehow barking the Hogwarts song, when James entered the room. With a flick of his wand he silenced the dog and also removed its wings when it tried to bite him. The pillow-dog scurried away from James and disappeared under one of the beds as Sirius looked up to glare at his friend. James stared back unfazed for a moment, before speaking.

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"Right, you're upset over nothing. Happens all the time. Are you going to tell me yet what's bothering you?"

A short silence fell between them, before Sirius finally answered with a sigh.

"I did something stupid."

"That's nothing new."

"Prongs." Sirius voice took a warning tone.

"Alright, sorry. What did you do then?" James took a seat on the bed next to Sirius' bed.

Sirius explained what had happened with Malika. When he finished talking, James was watching him with raised eyebrows.

"That was indeed a pretty stupid thing to do."

"It's been the umpteenth time she has rejected me and I probably ruined all my chances with her now."

"Possibly."

"You're not really helping here Prongs."

"Listen Padfoot, I can't really help you with this, but there is one thing I know. If you want another chance with her, you have to respect her wishes. Give her the space she needs, don't put so much pressure on her, but just be her friend for now."

Sirius stared at James for a few moments.

"Right. Since when do you know how to win over a girl who has been rejecting you all the time? It's not like you succeeded in it yourself."

James raised an eyebrow at the last statement, but ignored it and answered with one word.

"Experience." Then he burst out laughing at the dumbfounded look on Sirius' face.

"Tell me you're kidding."

"While you and Moony were constantly drooling over Malika these last weeks, I've taken the chance to get closer to Lily."

"Are you two…?"

"No, not yet, but she doesn't mind anymore having me around and we can actually have a real conversation without her getting irritated. I think that's a big improvement, seeing as a year ago, she couldn't even stand to be in the same room I was in."

Sirius laughed. "True, Prongs, I think she's falling for you."

James grinned in response. "I always knew she would."

000

Lily had left the library quietly when she had noticed Malika and Remus were sitting closely together, bent over his charms book. For Lily, this looked like her cue to leave them alone, who knows what could come out of it if they had more chances to be alone together.

Lily had noticed a long time ago the sparks that flew between her two friends and she had always thought they would make a cute couple, if only Malika would realize it.

Soon, Lily arrived in the common room and she was surprised to see James sitting alone on the couch near the fire, looking a bit bored. She contemplated for a moment if she should go talk to him or not, and it struck her how strange that sounded, seeing as a year ago, she would have totally ignored him.

Making up her mind, she approached him and sat down on the couch next to him.

"Hey, it doesn't happen often, you sitting here all by yourself. Where is everyone?"

James looked up a bit surprised; true she did hang out with the Marauders on a regular basis for the last months, but it was still the first time she came to talk to him out of her own accord, except when it was about their duties as Headboy and Headgirl. Automatically, his hand went to his hair, followed by Lily rolling her eyes, the next moment they were both laughing, without really knowing why. When their laughter had subdued, James answered Lily's question.

"Sirius and Peter are in detention for some prank they pulled while we had a meeting with all the prefects, they figured it would be safer then, but McGonnagal caught them. I suppose Remus and Malika are still in the library?"

Lily nodded. "They were working together on something, didn't even notice when I left."

"They seem to be getting closer these days."

"Yes, I think they would make a great couple, but Malika is still trying to figure everything out I guess."

"They seem to be suited to each other, and Remus certainly deserves her. But Sirius still loves her too, and I don't think he will let her go that easily."

A sigh escaped Lily's lips. "I know. I wish he would let her go though, and realize Malika isn't for him. I'm sorry James, I know Sirius is your best friend, but sometimes he really gets on my nerves."

James chuckled. "I know."

Lily smiled too, then another thought crossed her mind. "Why does he want Malika so badly? Is it because she is the only girl in this school that has rejected him?"

James shook his head. "No, I know when he means what he says or when he is playing, and I've never seen him so sincere about something as he is about his feelings for her. I'm pretty sure he does love her."

"It's kind of tragic, two friends falling for the same girl."

"Yeah, I hope she makes up her mind soon, she's hurting them both with the way she is handling it. Besides, she's taking a lot of their time, I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my friends."

Lily laughed. "Poor James, jealous because his friends left him for a girl."

"It's not funny, and I'm not jealous," answered James in an annoyed voice.

Lily only started laughing harder and soon James joined her.

After they had caught their breath, Lily said, "I know how you feel actually, I barely have the chance to catch Malika alone lately."

James grinned crookedly. "Ha, I knew it, perfect Lily Evans is jealous too. What do you say about making them jealous by running off together."

Lily gave him a playful slap on the arm. "Shut it. You never change do you? Still as cocky."

"Of course, but I was joking anyway."

"I know." A silence fell, before Lily continued, "I never said I was perfect."

James' voice turned suddenly soft when he replied. "No, I always said that, because you are perfect to me."

Lily looked up quickly, and met James' gaze. They gazed in each other's eyes for a moment, before Lily turned away, blushing. She couldn't really comprehend what was happening, but she knew she had never felt like this before. Was this what love felt like? She was perplexed by her own feelings. When did she start falling for, of all people, James Potter?

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments.

James cursed himself inwardly. Why did he have to say that, they were having a nice conversation and he had to go and spoil it. He had to say something to break the awkwardness. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

"We should go over the tasks we have to give to the prefects for the preparations for the Yule Ball."

Lily agreed gladly and grabbed for her bag. She pulled out a pile of parchments with notes about the coming ball.

Unfortunately, some parchments slid from her hands and fell to the floor. Before she could pick them up however, James had already done so and handed her the notes with a smile. As she took them from him, their hands touched for a moment, sending a wave of electricity up from their hands through their bodies, at the same time their eyes locked once more.

Again, Lily turned away quickly, blushing and heart racing in her chest. She made a fuss of neatly stacking her parchments for a moment, before turning back to James.

Moments later they were discussing the details for the Yule Ball and that was what they were still doing when Malika and Remus returned from the library.

Lily looked up just in time to see Malika looking at her, beckoning her over with her eyes, before disappearing up the stairs. Lily understood Malika needed to talk, so she packed her notes away and said goodnight to James. Before she could leave the common, James called her back.

"Lily, wait a second." She turned back to him with a questioning gaze.

For a moment, James lost his nerve, she had been rejecting him for more than four years, and they had been getting along pretty well lately, was it wise to jinx that by asking her out again?

Of course, that moment of doubt disappeared quickly and he approached Lily with his usual confidence.

"Would you do me the honor to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

For a moment, time seem to stop, Lily was torn between two opposite feelings. On the one hand, a part of her wanted to hold on to the habit to reject James, but on the other hand…

She had to admit to herself that she actually _wanted_ to go with him.

When Lily looked up to James, she could see the sincerity in his eyes and she realized there was only one right answer to this question.

"Yes, I would love to go with you." She gave him a smile and quickly ascended the stairs.

James stared after her and stayed for a long time standing on the same place, staring at the spot where Lily stood when she gave her answer.

Had she really said what he thought she said? He kept repeating her words over and over in his head. Yes…She said yes. He could barely believe it, Lily Evans had agreed to go on a date with him, to the Yule Ball none the less. A big grin appeared on his face and it felt like it would stay there for the next few days. James felt like it was one of the best days of his life, and with the prospect of the Yule Ball, things could only get better.

000

_Please review…_

Thanks to Celi and Ashley for your reviews…


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Only Malika and Jane belong to me, everyone else belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Chapter 12

December 1994

Malika was still fuming when she arrived at her apartment. Remus looked up from the book he was reading, upon seeing her face he immediately came to her side, alarmed. Malika was never one to easily lose her temper and Remus had never seen her looking as angry as she did now. Whatever had happened, it must be really bad.

"What's wrong? Why are home early?"

Malika took a deep breath to calm herself, before she answered him.

"I'm home early because I quit my job."

"What? Why?"

Malika shook her head, she didn't want to tell him what was going on at the Ministry. Instead she just said, "I don't want to work for those criminals anymore."

"But you always loved your job. Tell me what happened that made you so upset."

"You don't want to know," Malika whispered.

"Malika, please." Remus was getting really worried now, this behaviour was very out of character for her.

Malika went to the couch and slumped down in it, before she whispered, "I've tried to reason with them, but they refused to even listen to me…" Remus sat down next to her, confusion written all over his face. "…I can't work for people like them…" She lifted her face to look him in the eye, angry tears burning in her eyes. "They want us to hunt down werewolves." She had whispered the last part so quietly, that he probably wouldn't have heard it without his heightened werewolf-senses.

A silence spread between them.

Remus didn't know how to react, a mixture of emotions coursed through him, shock, confusion, fear, horror, anger, but most of all, worry. Not for himself, but mostly for Malika. He had never seen her distressed like this and he didn't know how to handle it.

Malika kept her eyes on Remus and saw the emotions cross his face. She was still furious at the Ministry, but now another emotion took hold of her: fear. She was afraid for Remus, afraid of what could happen to him, but at the same time she was afraid of his reaction, afraid he would maybe blame her or work it out on her. Deep inside she knew he would never do that to her, but at that moment, her fear of losing him stopped rational thought for a moment.

Remus sensed the fear taking hold of her. For the first time since he knew her, he could sense she was afraid of him, and it sent a pang to his heart. For a moment he wondered what could have caused this, then the smell of fear became too much, too painful, and he knew he had to get out of there.

Suddenly, Remus stood up from the couch and announced he was going to take a walk. He was out of the door before his words even got through to Malika. When they finally did, she burst into tears.

000

Jane had been thinking a lot about Malika's words, repeating them over and over again in her mind. She knew Malika was right, she even felt guilty for not standing up to her superiors like her friend had done. But what could she do? She didn't want to lose her job. If only there was a large group of people thinking the same way, then they could actually do something.

A large group of people…

This thought got her thinking. If only…

A plan formed in her mind as she got up to immediately start the execution of it. She would have a lot to do, but first she had to speak to Kingsley…

000

A few hours had passed since Remus had left and Malika had finally calmed down a bit. To distract herself from her depressed thoughts, she had cleaned up the apartment a bit. When Remus finally returned, she was cooking dinner, but she immediately rushed to his side as he entered.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I be?" Remus watched her a bit puzzled.

"I was worried. You left so suddenly, a lot could have happened. The full moon was only last night and you're not completely recovered yet, the Ministry could have gotten a hold on you, or Death Eaters." Or you could have decided to not come back to me at all, she thought, but she didn't dare to say it out loud.

Remus stared at her, bewildered by the almost-panicked state she seemed to be in. It had never occurred to him that she would be worried, but her obvious concern warmed his heart and made his own worries melt away. After a moment, he pulled himself together, he had to find a way to calm her down, somehow. He took hold of her upper-arms and looked her in the eye before talking.

"Calm down, Malika. Nothing happened. The Ministry wouldn't pick me off the street like that, at least, I hope not. And what are you worrying about Death Eaters, there haven't been seen any since summer and Voldemort isn't back yet either."

Malika seemed to calm down a bit, although not completely. She flung her arms around him with no intention to let go of him soon.

"I was so scared you wouldn't come back. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you'd hate me. I'm so sorry."

Remus returned her hug, totally bewildered now and trying to make sense of her words. What was she talking about? As realization hit him, he almost laughed out loud in relief at the misunderstanding.

"You were afraid I would leave you, weren't you. Did you really think I would blame you for the stupidities of the Ministry? I know you're not like them, sweetheart, and I could never hate you, even if you would turn against me, I love you too much for that to happen."

Malika lifted her head out of his robes to face him. "Then why did you leave?"

Remus sighed before answering. "I suppose I'm just as scared to lose you. I could smell fear coming over you as we were sitting there, and I thought the Ministry had finally succeeded in influencing you, I thought you were afraid of me and that thought hurt me more than I could explain."

Malika reached up to brush some hair from his forehead and trailed her hand down along his face, Remus closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

"I guess we have both been stupid," she whispered, he only smiled in answer.

Suddenly, Remus frowned. "What's burning?"

Malika cursed, released him and ran for the kitchen, Remus followed her at a much slower pace. He was laughing when he entered the kitchen and Malika glared at him playfully, before returning to her cooking.

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year) 

When Lily arrived in the dormitory, she found Malika sitting on her bed staring ahead of her.

"Are you alright?"

Malika turned towards Lily, a troubled look on her face and Lily answered her own question.

"Obviously not. Do you want to tell me now what's wrong?"

Malika started to tell her friend everything that had happened, from Sirius pulling her aside in the empty classroom to her little exchange with Remus in the library. After she had finished a silence fell between both girls and Lily put a comforting arm around her friend.

Lily was the first to speak again.

"I wish Sirius would finally leave you alone, why can't he see he's making it a lot harder for you?"

Malika shrugged her shoulders miserably.

Lily hesitated a moment, she had always vowed to not interfere in this, but she felt like she should do something. "Can I say something?"

"Sure."

"I think you and Remus are really suited for each other, maybe you should give him a chance."

Malika looked up and faced Lily. "I don't know Lily, I don't know what I'm feeling, but I do know that I don't want to hurt anyone."

"But you're hurting them already by letting them wait for a decision you're always delaying. You know this isn't right. I was just talking about it with James and he agrees with me."

Malika raised an eyebrow and took her opportunity to quickly change the subject.

"That's right. You were talking with James. Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing." Lily answered a little too quickly and at the same time, a blush spread across her cheeks.

Malika grinned. "Right, you're blushing about nothing."

"You're spending so much time with Remus and Sirius lately that I was forced to spent time with James."

"Uhuh, sure, because there are no other people in all of Gryffindor."

"Nothing is going on between James and me, Malika, we just get along well lately. Besides, that's not what we were talking about. We were talking about you and you changed the subject."

Malika laughed. "I don't remember, but I have a feeling you are changing the subject right now."

Lily blushed again and muttered, "Shut up."

Malika only laughed harder, until Lily smacked her with a pillow, which ensued in a full-blown pillow fight between both girls.

000

A few days later, the Yule Ball was officially announced on the notice board in the common room. Of course it was the subject of many conversations for the following days, everyone was talking about who was going with who.

That was exactly what the Marauders were talking about one night in their dormitory.

"So, does anyone have a date yet for the Ball?" Sirius was lazily lounging on his bed and was of course the one to start this conversation.

"I was thinking about asking that Huffelpuff girl Amy, if you know who I mean." Peter was looking around at his friends to see what they thought about his idea.

"No idea who you're talking about. Wait, you mean that blonde 4th year you were talking with yesterday?"

"Yeah"

"Would be a nice catch I'd say."

"Sirius!" Remus said warningly, and immediately regretted it, because now Sirius' attention went to him.

"What about you Moony?"

"I'm not sure I'm going."

Sirius shrugged and turned towards James, who was lying on his bed and staring off in space.

"Oy, Prongs."

"Hm?"

When it was obvious that was the only answer Sirius would get, a pillow sailed through the air and hit James in the head. He bolted upright and glared at Sirius.

"What the hell was that for, Padfoot."

"For being so distracted these days. What's gotten into you? If I wouldn't know better, I'd say Lily agreed to go on a date with you. But we all know that's not likely to happen anytime soon."

James threw the pillow back to Sirius, only now it was hexed to keep hitting him like a beater. Sirius pointed his wand at the pillow to blow it up and sent the feathers to fall back down on James like snow, and to stick to him wherever they touched him.

At that point, Remus decided he had enough of the show and performed a _finite incantatem_ before his friends made an even bigger mess of the dormitory.

"Aww Moony, we were just having fun," whined Sirius.

"You can have a snowball fight tomorrow outside, Padfoot."

Sirius pouted and James quickly decided to restart their previous conversation, although he hadn't really taken part in it earlier.

"You wanted to talk about the Yule Ball, Padfoot, so tell us what your plans are."

"Well, I would really like to ask Malika, but I'm pretty sure she'd say no anyway because she doesn't want to choose." Sirius' reply sounded a little bitter.

A tense silence fell in the dormitory. Sirius was glaring at Remus, who shifted uncomfortably under his friend's stare, James was watching Sirius and Peter had focused his attention on his Chocolate Frogs as if hoping it would keep the others from noticing him.

At last, it was Remus who broke the tension, addressing James.

"What about you, Prongs?"

James turned to face Remus as a slow grin crept upon his face.

"Actually, I'm going with Lily."

Upon seeing the shocked faces of his friends, James burst out laughing.

"You're joking, right?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Padfoot, but it's the truth, I asked her a few days ago and she said yes."

"Okay, the world has officially gone crazy. Wait a minute, a few days ago, and you didn't tell us? This asks for punishment." Sirius got a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Oh, now you got it, Prongs, this time I'm not intervening." With that, Remus closed the curtains of his bed and they heard him mutter a charm to protect him against whatever may hit the curtains. Peter quickly followed Remus's example, except without using a charm.

Sirius transfigured the feathers that were left of the blown pillow in cupids that attacked James with their arrows, James in turn changed the ones he could get to in little cats attacking Sirius, and thus another fight had started, only this time it lasted a few hours.

000

A few days later was a Hogsmeade Weekend and it would definitely be the most busy one of the year. Not only was it the only day the students could go Christmas shopping, it was also their only chance to find the perfect robes for the Yule Ball.

Malika and Lily had already bought all the presents they needed, most of which they had bought together, but they did split up for a little time to find each other a present.

Now, Lily was dragging Malika over to a store called 'Miss Miranda's Dress-Robes for All Occasions'. The store was filled with students and Malika had tried to find excuses to get out of entering the shop, but it was no use. Lily took a good hold of her friend's hand and managed to push their way through the crowd toward a rack full of dress-robes. The two girls started rummaging through the robes until Lily found a beautiful emerald green robe that matched great with her eyes and fitted perfectly.

"I'll take this one then, now we have to find one for you."

"Lily, I'm not sure I'm going."

"What?"

Malika looked down at her feet, she didn't know how to explain to Lily her reasons for not going, she didn't even _know_ her reasons, she just didn't feel like going.

"Malika, you can't leave me there alone with the boys. Please tell me you'll be there."

"I don't know, Lily, I just don't really feel like it."

"It can help you relax and stop all that thinking for a while, Malika. It would really do you some good, you'll see it will be fun. Please, for me?" Lily batted her eyes at her friend, until Malika burst out laughing and gave her friend a friendly shove.

"Alright, I'm coming."

"Great. Thanks. Maybe it can help you sort out your feelings."

"Maybe, but I'll go without a date, I think that's for the best. Besides, I suppose you'll be without a date too, except there is some mystery guy you didn't tell me about."

Lily suddenly started blushing and rummaged through the robes again to hide it, Malika had seen it anyway.

"No way. You have a date already, and you didn't tell me? I can't believe this! I'm your best friend and you're supposed to tell me everything, so tell me, who is it?"

Lily mumbled something.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I didn't quite catch that."

"What would you say if I told you I'm going with James?"

Malika's mouth fell open, she had a feeling something was going on between them, but she hadn't expected this to happen.

"Lily Evans finally giving in to James Potter? I never thought to see this day."

"Shut up, Malika, and let's find you a robe, alright?"

Malika laughed, but did as her friend had told her.

000

On Sunday, Remus was sitting alone in the library making some homework, that is, until Sirius came barging in, the Marauders Map in hand.

"There you are, Moony, I've been looking for you, we need to talk."

Remus looked up, puzzled. "What's up?"

"Not here, let's find an empty classroom."

Remus packed his things together and followed his friend to one of the unused classrooms. Once they arrived there, he watched the other boy expectantly.

"There's something I want to know first. What are your plans for the Yule Ball?"

Remus got an apprehensive look on his face. "I don't really have any plans."

"Don't you want to go with Malika?"

"You know just as well as I do that she won't accept to go with either of us, Sirius."

"Yes, of course I know that, but do you want to go with her?"

Remus frowned, he had no idea what Sirius was getting at. He answered hesitantly, "Yes…I would like to go with her if there was any chance she'd go with me."

Sirius nodded. "That's what I thought, and believe me, I've been thinking about it too. But don't worry, I have found the answer to our problem."

Remus looked highly sceptical and even more as Sirius was revealing his plan.

"I don't know, Sirius, I'm not sure she would agree with this."

"Aw, come on Moony, we can only try, what do we have to lose?"

Remus sighed. "Alright, whatever you say, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned broadly. "That's my boy, let's go find her."

000

_Please review..._

Thanks to Yasmine Lupin, Celi, Ashley and S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e for your reviews.


	14. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I only own Malika, Jane and Cynthia, everything else belongs to J.K.Rowling.

A/N: Sorry for the very long wait for this update, but I haven't been home much these last weeks and I'm going to be quite busy during the next weeks, so I can't promise as much updates as I used to do.

Another thing: it's impossible for me to follow HBP in this story, for obvious reasons, (although I might use some things from the book, I won't change my storyline), so now I'm wondering if my readers want me to continue this story.

Also I got my first flame ever last chapter, and I have to admit (shamefully) that I stopped writing this for a little while. I know this isn't the best story, but at the start of this story I was all new to writing in English, and I do hope my writing has improved since then, but I'm still pretty new and developing my writing. So, please don't flame me. Constructive criticism is of course welcome.

Now, on to the story.

Chapter 13

December 1994

A week had passed since Malika had resigned at the Ministry, she had been looking for a new job since then but hadn't found one yet.

It was lunchtime and Malika and Remus were just eating when there was a knock on the door. Remus went to open it and returned a few moments later with Jane, Malika was very surprised to see her ex-colleague there.

"Jane, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Jane took a deep breath before answering. "I need you to come to the Ministry with me."

Malika frowned. "I told you I don't want to work for them anymore."

"It's not to work, Malika, although I don't deny we need you there, you're one of our best Aurors, but that's not why I'm here. I need you to make a speech for a group of people we assembled."

Malika stared blankly at her friend. "What _are_ you talking about?" She glanced towards Remus, who shrugged in response. Jane sat down in front of Malika before continuing.

"Hear me out alright. After you left I started thinking about what you said and you were totally right, we can't let them do this, we should do something. But the point is, you can't do anything when you don't work there, your resign won't solve anything, they will just continue without you." Malika frowned again and opened her mouth to protest, but Jane quickly cut her off. "I understand why you did it and I don't say it was wrong, I'm just saying it won't change a thing."

Malika sighed. "How do you suppose the two of us can make a change?"

"Not the two of us, but if we were with a lot of people thinking the same way, we might."

"And where do you want to find those people?" Malika looked highly sceptical.

"Let me finish. After you left, I went to talk to Kingsley, I explained what happened and asked his help. Together we could assemble some people who disagree with how the Ministry is handling things or who are at least open to listen to other solutions. We are assembling this evening and I want you to speak to them, to explain your point of view. I was hoping we could offer them another way than the Ministry."

A silence fell around the table. Malika was stunned and after a glance towards Remus, she saw he was too. A thought struck her and she turned back to Jane.

"What you are doing can be dangerous, Jane, you could lose your job or even worse if Umbridge comes upon this."

Jane shook her head. "I don't think so. They can't fire all of us, don't underestimate this, Malika, a fairly large group has agreed to listen to you. I believe we really have a chance and so does Kingsley. Now, will you come with me?"

Another silence fell, this time Malika and Remus were both staring in awe at the woman sitting in front of them, as if they saw her for the first time. Jane had accepted Remus' lycanthropy a long time ago, but they had never expected to get so much help from her.

Suddenly, Malika got up from the table and hugged her friend closely. "Thank you," she whispered in a choked up voice. Then she disappeared to the bedroom to get ready.

Jane turned towards Remus, who was gazing back at her with a pensive look in his eyes, she smiled. "Did someone ever tell you that you think too much, Remus?"

He smiled back, "Many times." Then he got up and hugged Jane too, she was surprised but returned the hug none-the-less.

After they let go of each other he said, "There are no words to thank you enough, Jane, you are a true friend."

Jane blushed a bit. "This might not really change a lot, Remus."

"I know, but you are trying. That already means a lot. Thank you, for caring this much."

She smiled. "I can't help but care, you two are great friends."

Malika re-entered the kitchen. "Are you trying to steal my love away from me, Jane?"

Jane laughed. "I wouldn't dare. Are you ready to go?"

Malika nodded, kissed Remus goodbye and both women left for the Ministry.

000

Jane led Malika to one of the unused courtrooms, it was a safe place to gather because almost no-one had used this place for years, they wouldn't be disturbed here.

Malika was very surprised upon seeing the crowd that had gathered there, but before she could take a better look to see if she knew anyone, Kingsley Shacklebolt approached her with a smile.

"Ready for the show, Malika?"

She smiled at her friend. "Yes, I think I am. Thank you for this Kingsley."

"That's alright. I only wished you trusted me enough to tell me about your loverboy. That's what friends are for, Malika, I can't help you if I don't know what's bothering you."

"I know, I'm sorry. I would have in time."

"Don't worry about it. I know you've had a lot to deal with. I just hope you'll trust me in the future."

Malika nodded and Kingsley took her by the arm and led her to the front of the room, where she could speak to the crowd. She let her eyes wander around for a moment and recognised some faces, like Arthur Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks.

Suddenly she saw a face she hadn't seen in many years and she felt her blood run cold. The same blond hair, the same light green eyes and even the same style of clothing, it was impossible to not recognise her. A wave of hatred coursed through Malika upon seeing Cynthia Robertson again.

"Are you alright?" Jane's voice spoke in her ear, "We can start if you're ready."

Malika shook her head to clear it and forget about the hated woman, she turned towards her friend to let her know she was ready to speak to the gathered crowd.

Jane shortly thanked them for coming and introduced Malika and then it was her turn. She cleared her throat nervously, she had never talked before so much people at once. Malika took a deep breath and started speaking.

"Jane here has told me you aren't happy with the way the Ministry is handling certain things and you might be open to listen to another option. I may have that option, although some of you won't be satisfied with my way either. I just want to ask from you to listen to what I have to say, whether you agree with me in the end or not will be up to you, but I ask you to not judge before you have at least tried to see the way I see things. Many things are dealt with in a wrong way these days, but what I want to talk about tonight is the way werewolves are treated, not only by the Ministry, but by our society."

A murmur passed through the assembled crowd and Malika saw some people frowning, she took another deep breath before bracing herself and continuing, promising herself to ignore any noise her public might make.

"Until a few days ago, I was an Auror, but I resigned because the Ministry gave us the order to hunt down every werewolf who had attacked someone during the last full moon. I resigned because the Ministry's orders were unfair and inhuman." More and more murmurs and sounds of protest spread to the crowd, but Malika glared down at them and continued. "There have been more werewolf-attacks during the last full moon than there have been during the last two years and the only blame we can place is by the Ministry." Malika almost shouted this over the crowd and a stunned silence fell after her last words.

"These last months, the Ministry has installed many new laws that stand against everyone they could consider not entirely human. Those laws mean for most werewolves that they can't find a job anywhere and often even no place to live. Tell me, how can they secure themselves during a full moon if they don't even have a home? They certainly don't have any money to provide themselves in Wolfsbane potion. The ways of the Ministry are wrong on so many levels, but they are supported by society as well. I know most people look down on werewolves, people like to think they aren't entirely human, but that's a lie, they are just like you and me, they only suffer from a very painful illness. It's a hard life, you know, lycanthropy is not easy to handle, it's not only the pain from the transformations, but also the fear of hurting the people you love. They never asked to be cursed like that and yet they are condemned for something that isn't their fault."

Again a silence fell in the courtroom, everyone was watching Malika in shock. None of them had ever thought about werewolves that way and no one had ever asked them to either. Malika collected her thoughts and continued. "I'm not asking of you that we call back every law, I know that's not possible, I only hope you think about what I said. I also hope to set up some sort of support service, the main purpose would be to provide werewolves in Wolfsbane potion and a safe place to transform when they can't provide themselves. Those who want to help us can contact me, Jane or Kingsley."

After Malika had finished talking, some questions were asked and a few people already offered their help. People were leaving the courtroom which emptied slowly and Malika was preparing to return home when someone approached her. For the first time in thirteen years and to Malika's dismay, she found herself standing face to face with Cynthia Robertson.

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

Malika was reading on her favourite couch in the common room, she had no idea where her friends were, but it didn't bother her, she finally had some time alone again and that was something that didn't happen often lately.

Her quiet time alone was interrupted however when the portrait hole opened and two boys climbed trough it. Remus and Sirius immediately spotted the girl on the couch by the fire and headed her way, they stopped right before her and she looked up with a questioning look in her eyes. It was a constant in her life these days that when one of the boys found her alone, he would always come to talk with her, but both of them together coming to her like today had however never happened before.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

The boys glanced at each other before Sirius answered. "We have to talk to you, let's go to our dorm." Malika frowned but followed anyway.

Luckily, the dorm was empty, the boys sat down on their own beds while Malika went to sit on James' bed, she glanced expectantly towards the others. Finally, Sirius spoke first, asking the question she had been dreading for a week now.

"Do you have any plans for the Yule Ball, Malika?"

Malika sighed heavily. "I should have seen this coming. If you want me to chose one of you…" She was interrupted by Remus.

"No, we don't want you to chose, we know you won't do that anyway."

"We came up with a solution actually," continued Sirius.

Malika looked a bit sceptical, but decided to listen anyway. The boys glanced at each other for a moment, before Remus nodded, Sirius started speaking again.

"We both want to go with you and because you don't want to chose, I figured we could ask you to go with both of us. We could pick you up together and take turns dancing."

Malika raised her eyebrows. "Going with both of you? Is that even possible? What will everyone say?"

"There is no rule that says you can't have two dates, as long as everyone involved agrees," answered Remus.

"And as for what everyone is going to say, we're Marauders, they will probably think it's sort of a prank anyway," Sirius continued.

Malika bit the inside of her check for a moment. She wanted to go with both of them, but now they were asking her, it seemed kind of strange but she had to agree it was a good plan. She glanced up and found both boys watching her hopefully.

"Are you both sure you want to do it that way?" They nodded. She pondered it over for another moment, before deciding. "Alright then, I'll go with the both of you."

They grinned at her, stood from their beds and walked up to Malika, who stood up from James' bed. Both boys wanted to hug Malika but thought it a bit awkward with the other also standing there. Malika laughed, before saying 'group-hug' and the three of them hugged, laughing at the same time.

At that moment, James and Peter entered the dormitory, both newcomers raised their eyebrows at the scene before them and Malika excused herself quickly and left. They kept staring at Remus and Sirius, who only laughed harder and when James tried to find out what was going on, he was only answered with a smiles and laughter. The only answer he got after numerous times of asking was Sirius' 'you'll find out in a week Prongs.'

000

The next Saturday was finally the day of the long-awaited Yule Ball.

The Ball started at eight o'clock, Malika and Lily would meet the boys at seven thirty, now it was six thirty and the girls were getting ready, putting on their robes and make-up and doing each others hair.

"For someone who doesn't have a date you're being rather self-conscious about your looks, Malika." Lily was saying.

Malika smiled mysteriously. "Who says I don't have a date?"

Lily gasped. "But in Hogsmeade you said…"

"That's a week ago, Lily, I could have been asked after that day."

"I would have thought, being your best friend, you would have told me if someone had." Lily's tone was mock-hurt. Malika didn't answer.

"Come on, Malika, who is it?"

The other girl shook her head, still wearing the mysterious smile. "You'll see soon Lily."

"That's not fair, you know, I told you I was going with James."

But whatever Lily tried, Malika's lips stayed sealed.

000

Meanwhile, the Marauders were having a similar conversation.

James had been trying all week to figure out what was going on the day he had found Remus and Sirius both hugging Malika, but whatever he tried, they didn't answer any of his questions. James knew he probably wouldn't get much out of Remus, but he had at least hoped Sirius would tell him. What perplexed him even more, was the fact both his friends seemed to be overly cheerful the whole past week. Now it was the day of the Yule Ball, and James still had no idea what was going on, and it was frustrating him to no end.

"Is one of you finally going to explain to me what is going on with the both of you?"

"No." The word was emitted by two voices simultaneously.

"Then why are you two so damn cheerful? The Yule Ball is about to start and you have no dates, I hope you realise this is kind of freaky."

"Who ever told you we have no date, Prongs," came Sirius' indignant answer.

"You have?" This time the words were spoken by James and Peter together.

"Both of you?"

"With whom?"

"We're not going to tell you anything else," came Remus' resolute answer. A short silence fell among the Marauders, until Peter asked "You two aren't going together are you?"

Everyone stared at him for a moment, before Remus and Sirius burst out into almost hysterical laughter, James and Peter stared at them in bewilderment.

"It may have been a stupid question but what is so damn funny about it?" James was getting more bewildered by the moment and consequently more frustrated. No answer came, because those to whom the question was directed were still laughing too hard to talk.

"Prongs, they are freaking me out." Peter stated quietly, James nodded.

Remus was the first to recover, but he ignored the questioning gaze of his two friends, instead he started pulling on his robes for the Ball. "We should all get a move on, or we'll be too late, you don't want Lily to wait, do you Prongs?"

James quickly started to get ready for the Ball and the conversation was over.

000

At seven thirty, the boys were sitting in the common room, waiting for the girls to come downstairs while James was again pestering his friends for the identity of their date. A few minutes later, Malika and Lily finally came down the stairs.

As James approached Lily and offered her his arm, he didn't see how Remus and Sirius both approached Malika, who was wearing a long yellow dress that shimmered and reflected the light in the room. The girl smiled at them and gave both boys a kiss on the cheek, earning grins from both and a slight blush from Remus in return. Then, the three of them hooked arms, right at the moment when James and Lily turned towards them. A shocked silence fell in the common room. James, Lily and Peter were staring at the other three, eyes wide and mouths hanging open, the sight was so funny that first Sirius and then Remus and Malika too cracked up laughing.

Lily was the first to recover her shock. "Umm, could one of you explain what's going on?"

James blinked once and asked loudly, almost on top of the second part of Lily's question, "Are you _three_ going together?"

No answer followed, because those involved were still laughing, but after a moment, Remus managed to recover enough to speak. "Yeah, since we knew Malika didn't want to chose, we decided to share her, it was Sirius' idea."

Still staring, Peter asked, "You're going to, umm, well, I mean, are the three of you together or something?"

Everyone stared at Peter now. Sirius shook his head exasperatedly, "No, you dolt, we're going _to the ball_ together."

"Oh."

A new wave of laughter filled the common room, this time, James and Lily joined, Peter looked embarrassed.

When the laughter had calmed down, they decided to head down to the Great Hall. As they left the common room, Lily whispered to James, "I hope this won't cause more problems between them." James nodded and whispered back, "At least, now we know why they were acting strange this week and we don't have to worry anymore about mysterious unknown dates who might cause even more problems." Lily laughed and slapped him playfully on the arm. James smiled, silently thinking to himself this might be the night he had been dreaming of for years.

000

_Please review…_(and let me know if you want this story to be continued)

Thanks for your reviews: Yasmine Lupin, 'BlondieInLove', Remusgrl01 and S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e.


	15. Chapter 14

Disclaimer : I only own Malika, Jane and Cynthia…

Chapter 14

December 1994

Malika couldn't help the scowl that appeared on her face at the sight of the woman standing before her. She acknowledged her with a slight nod of her head and a cool 'Cynthia'.

The other woman nodded back, "Malika, it's been a long time." Cynthia's voice was equally cool.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to help, what other reason could I be here?"

"Somehow, I don't believe you." Malika's voice was uncharacteristically harsh as she spoke with Cynthia, but she didn't care. Malika had never been one to easily dislike a person, but she couldn't help hating Cynthia with every fibre of her being.

Cynthia sighed frustrated, "Look, if this is about what happened in the past, it's behind us. People make mistakes and I was young."

Malika wasn't impressed but didn't say anything. After an uncomfortable silence, Cynthia tried again.

"If you want to succeed with this, you're going to need people in the right places. I'm working pretty close with some of Umbridge's trustees, I could hand you information you will need."

"Why would you do this?" Malika's voice sounded incredulous.

"I regret what I did, Malika." That was indeed the reason, although Cynthia had never thought she would ever admit it, and definitely not to Malika. After all, Cynthia had never been able to stand her and she had always partially blamed Malika for what happened, although she knew that wasn't fair.

The ironical part about this was, although both women would never admit it, if they even realised it, the main reason why they had started hating each other, was because they were jealous of each other back then.

Malika nodded. "Alright, then. I'll make sure to let you know when our next meeting will be. We will then see how exactly we are going to organize this."

Cynthia nodded and left quickly, Malika sighed inwardly while she watched the other woman leave. A moment later, Kingsley appeared next to her. "Who was that?"

Malika shook her head, before quietly answering, "Long story, let's go."

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

The Yule Ball had been going on for a few hours and things were going smoothly.

James and Lily had been dancing together almost non-stop and seemed to really enjoy each other's company, much to their friends' surprise (Sirius had predicted they wouldn't last an hour without an argument).

Peter was off dancing with his Huffelpuff date, his friends hadn't seen him since they had arrived at the Ball.

Remus and Sirius had taken turns at dancing with Malika without one of them having reason to feel jealous. Everything was going great, that is, until now.

Sirius had been dancing with Malika when a slow song started. It was Remus' turn now, but Sirius didn't really feel like letting Malika go, since this was the perfect chance to be close to her. After a moment, however, Remus appeared beside them, tapping Sirius on his shoulder. "I think it's my turn." Reluctantly, Sirius let go of Malika, handed her over to his friend and seated himself at their table.

The house tables had been replaced by little tables near the walls, leaving a large space to dance in the middle of the Great Hall. At the start of the Ball, the Marauders had claimed a table with excellent view over the dance floor and near the larger table with snacks and punch.

Now, Sirius was sitting there alone, watching Remus and Malika dancing close together. A pang of jealousy went through him while he was watching them and he was thinking by himself why it was necessary for them to dance so closely. Sirius was just thinking about intervening when a pretty blond girl approached him and shyly asked him to dance. He reluctantly agreed, thinking everything was better than watching Malika dancing so intimately with Remus.

000

Remus felt like he had never been this happy in his entire life, dancing with Malika like this was a dream coming true. He had pulled her close to him and to his greatest joy she didn't object. She had laid her head on his shoulder, it seemed like she fitted perfectly against his body. He breathed in her scent deeply and let it intoxicate him even more, wishing they could stay like this forever.

000

James and Lily had been dancing but when the first tones of the slow song had sounded through the Great Hall, James had stopped dancing and took Lily by the hand, guiding her outside. He didn't answer her questions about what he was up to, but only smiled mysteriously.

The whole evening had been fantastic and there was only one thing that could make it even more perfect, but James didn't want that to happen in the Great Hall, where everyone could see them. He needed a more private setting.

Once they had arrived outside, they resumed dancing on the sounds of the soft music that reached them even here. After a moment, Lily repeated her inquiry as to why he took her outside. Now James did answer.

"I wanted a more private place, where we could be alone."

"And why would you want that?"

"Because I don't want the whole school to see what I'm about to do." James whispered this, while looking intently in Lily's eyes.

"And what would that be?" Lily asked breathlessly.

James smiled and leaned in slowly, careful to make sure Lily was alright with what he wanted to do. To his joy, she didn't seem to object. A moment later, their lips met.

000

Malika was happy, she really enjoyed herself this evening and her arrangement with the boys hadn't caused any problems, like she had feared it would. She was really glad she had accepted their offer, even though she had been a bit sceptic about it at first.

At this moment, Malika was dancing with Remus, she herself was surprised at how close they were dancing and what surprised her even more was the fact she didn't object.

Malika knew before she liked to be close to Remus, but she never gave in to that because she was afraid it might hurt Sirius if he saw them. Right now, though, Malika felt like she didn't really care what other people were thinking, even Sirius, she was enjoying herself too much to think about other people's feelings.

For a moment, Malika compared dancing with Remus to dancing with Sirius. She liked dancing with Sirius, because they had fun together, that had always been the main reason why she liked to be around Sirius, he was always fun to hang out with.

With Remus, though, it was different. No matter what they were doing or talking about, she always felt at ease with him, even dancing close together. Malika had never thought she could feel this comfortable while standing so close to a boy, but she felt like she could stay like this forever, in Remus' arms. It was simply perfect.

Malika felt her heartbeat quicken suddenly. She repeated her own thoughts a few times, trying to figure them out. Is this really what I think? Is this how I feel?

She carefully lifted her head from Remus' shoulder to look at him, he smiled at her as their eyes locked. Malika's heart did a little jumping thing and started beating even faster at the look in his eyes. There was so much love in them and she felt like she wanted nothing more than to return his feelings.

The song ended and Remus let go of Malika, took her hand and guided her to their table. Sirius appeared beside them almost immediately and asked Malika to dance, but she declined.

"I need to take a break, if you don't mind."

"Of course not." The three of them sat down and Malika scanned the crowd to see if she could find Lily. After a moment, she stood. "I'm going for some fresh air." Both boys almost simultaneously offered to accompany her, but she told them she wanted to be alone for a moment and they let her go.

Malika wandered outside of the Great Hall, through the Entrance Hall and onto the grounds, thinking back at what she had felt while she had been dancing with Remus. It really did feel wonderful. But could it be love? She needed to talk to Lily, if only she knew where her friend was.

Malika had arrived outside now, not really paying attention to her surroundings. That is, until she heard a voice calling her name. She turned quickly to find James and Lily sitting very close together on a bench standing against the wall near the entrance to the school, James arm draped across Lily's shoulder.

Malika approached her friends. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be inside dancing?"

They smiled and James replied. "We wanted some alone time, away from the crowd."

"Oh, sorry, I'll leave you two then." Lily called her back before she could leave.

"No, stay. You seemed to be deep in thought. Is something bothering you?"

"No… I mean, not really." Lily looked sceptical to her friend and Malika sighed. "All right, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"I guess I better leave you then." James already stood. Malika smiled at him.

"Thanks James, you'll get her back in five minutes."

"All right, but I hold you to that."

Malika sat down on the bench, next to Lily.

"Did something happen?" Lily watched her friend with concern in her eyes.

Malika bit her lip for a moment, thinking about the question and the right answer to it.

"Nothing actually happened, but, well, something happened. All right, this doesn't make any sense, does it?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say that, most of the time, I can follow your way of thinking, but now I'm completely lost."

"I thought so."

"Can you just explain to me what happened then? Or what didn't happen? Or let's just say, whatever you wanted to talk about."

Malika smiled and started explaining how she felt while dancing with Remus and the thoughts that had appeared in her mind. "…And now I'm wondering if this is what love feels like, or if it was just provoked by the moment and the atmosphere."

A silence fell between the girls, before Lily answered softly. "What you described to me does sound a lot like love Malika, but only you can actually make that decision. Let me just tell you that I've always thought there was something special between Remus and you and I think you two are really made for each other."

Malika again bit her lip in thought. Finally she said, "I think I need a little more time to figure this out and see if I really love him."

Lily gave a frustrated sigh. "Malika, you should really stop doing this. Love isn't something you have to think about all the time, you really have to stop this thinking and start listening to your heart."

"But I want to know for sure that I love him before I tell him Lily."

"I know, and I understand that, but listen to me. If you wait too long, you might lose him, because one day he'll be tired of waiting for you and move on."

Malika looked down at her hands, tears forming in her eyes. Lily sighed again and laid a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders. "I'm sorry Malika, I just don't want you to miss your chance. Please take my advice and don't wait until it's too late. Think about it." With that, Lily stood and left the other girl alone with her thoughts.

Malika stayed there for another half an hour, sitting on the bench and thinking about Lily's words. She knew her friend was right. But she also didn't want to go through another relationship that ended in such a disaster like the one with Sirius. She wanted to be sure about her feelings first this time.

When she finally returned to the Great Hall, she didn't really feel like dancing and partying anymore, so she announced to her friends that she was feeling tired and would return to Gryffindor Tower. Remus insisted to accompany her, claiming he was tired too (which was in fact true, but that wasn't the real reason) and dismissing her protests about her breaking up the fun for him. They returned to the tower in a comfortable silence.

When they had arrived there, however, neither of them wanted to leave the other to head for their dormitories, and so they sat down on the couch together. It was one of the only times where an awkward silence fell between them and neither of them knew what to say to the other. Remus was the first to speak.

"So, did you enjoy the Yule Ball?"

Malika smiled at him. "Yes, very much."

"Me too." Remus smiled back at her, feeling his heartbeat quicken once more when their eyes locked, like it had every time when they had danced together.

Another silence fell between them and Malika looked away again, staring in thought into the blazing fire before her.

"Are you all right? You seemed a bit distressed when you came back inside."

Malika turned back to Remus, who had now a concerned look in his eyes. "I had a conversation with Lily. She said some things I didn't want to hear, but I know I have to think about it anyway."

"You want to talk about it?"

Malika's eyes grew big and her 'no' sounded a little fiercer than she had wanted it to, she immediately cursed herself when Remus frowned and a hurt look appeared in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I understand." Remus hesitated a moment and continued in a much quieter voice. "I suppose that means you were talking about me."

Malika couldn't help blushing and returned to staring into the fire.

After another long silence, Remus started speaking again, unknowingly saying the things Malika dreaded the most.

"Malika, there's something I want to talk about. I…Sirius and I have given you all the time to think. I have really tried to give you space and not push you into making a decision. But I don't know if I can take this much longer. I want you to be honest with me if you don't have feelings for me. This evening was wonderful, but I'm afraid I'm getting myself ready for a hard fall and I don't know if I can take that."

Malika returned her gaze to Remus and felt her heart almost breaking at the pain she saw momentarily flicker in his eyes. She took a deep breath before whispering, "I do have feelings for you, Remus, I just need a little more time, please be patient."

She saw his eyes widen at her words and smiled softly at him. He licked his lips nervously. "Malika, I…"

He fell silent again and they stared in each others eyes. Slowly, without really realizing it, they were leaning closer to each other until suddenly their lips touched into a soft, lingering kiss.

When they pulled back, Malika stood up quickly and repeated quietly, "A little more time, please." Then, before Remus had the chance to recover and think of something to say, she disappeared up the staircase, towards her dormitory.

000

Remus stayed in the same spot for a long time after Malika had gone upstairs, staring into the fire and repeating what had just happened over and over again.

She said she has feelings for me.

He wanted to be elated about it, but that was a bit tempered by her 'a little more time'.

How much time? How long can I keep doing this?

And there still was that conversation she had had with Lily, it had definitely been about him. But what had they talked about exactly and what advise had Lily given her? Had Lily told her he wasn't good enough or had she tried to convince Malika to give him a chance? Remus didn't know which one of them would bother him the most.

Suddenly a different thought struck him. What if they know what I am? What if Lily told her she shouldn't put up with a Dark Creature like me?

After an hour or something, Remus decided this wasn't getting him anywhere. He went to his dormitory and crawled into bed, banning his conversation with Malika out of his mind for the moment. Another memory replaced it immediately, a memory of soft lips on his. It was this memory that followed him in his dreams, which were filled with sharing many more kisses with Malika and occasionally even more than that.

000

_Please review…_

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter.


	16. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Malika, Jane and Cynthia...

A/N: I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, I had a lot difficulties with writing it and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but I promisenext chapter will definitely be better.

Chapter 15

Januari 1995

It had been a few weeks since Malika had started her own Privet Werewolf Support Service and had returned to working as an Auror, to not raise any suspicions. Together with Jane and Kingsley, she had assembled a small number of people who were prepared to help them.

Some of them were searching for safe places where werewolves could spend the full moon, others were in charge of assembling ingredients and making Wolfsbane potion. Some people were able to provide important information about the political ongoings, mainly Umbridge's further plans.

Their best 'spy' inside Umbridge's trustees was Cynthia Robertson, a fact greatly disliked by Malika, but she had to admit Cynthia helped them a great deal, not only in providing information but also in keeping their actions hidden from Umbridge.

However, they weren't able to organize themselves enough before the full moon of Januari.

Now, only one important thing was left to do: they had to contact as much werewolves as possible, tell them what the purpose of their organization was and ask for their cooperation.

During the last meeting, they had discussed who would do the talking and Malika wasn't surprised to see that most of them were reluctant to actually go talk to a werewolf, sympathizing from afar was of course much easier. After much debate, Malika grew really irritated and told them she would do the talking, so they wouldn't have to worry about it. Kingsley had argued she couldn't do it all on her own and Jane had agreed with him.

To Malika's surprise, Cynthia had volunteered to do her part, if someone went with her and in the end it was decided that Kingsley and Nymphadora Tonks, who had also joined them, and Cynthia and Jane would go in pairs. They had split half of the werewolves they had to visit between them, still leaving Malika with the other half, but she didn't mind.

Malika had told Remus about the Support Service and their plans and he had volunteered to accompany Malika, for which she was very grateful. Together with Remus, she had a relative easy time in gaining the trust of most of the werewolves they visited, they had even encountered a woman who proposed to make a large supply of Wolfsbane Potion, if they could provide her with the necessary ingredients. It was like the woman herself had said: since she was a werewolf, she wasn't able to find a job, so she had enough free time for potionbrewing, something she happened to be good at and making a larger supply of the potion to help others meant only a little more extra time well spent instead of wasted away.

Of course there were also many werewolves who were less trusting and harder to convince, but who could blame them? One of them even threatened Malika, probably trying to scare her away and convince himself again that no one would ever accept him because of what he was. However, his treats quickly died down when, instead of scaring Malika, it became obvious he only managed at making Remus angry, and being a werewolf himself, the man knew all too well it was a bad idea to provoke a werewolf into defending his loved ones.

There was one thing about the Support Service Malika hadn't told Remus yet. She didn't want him to know Cynthia had joined them, Malika had no idea how he would react to the news, but she figured it wouldn't be good. It would be better if he didn't know at all, although a little voice in her head told Malika it was selfish of her.

During these last weeks, Malika had often considered how ironic fate could be sometimes. Sirius and Cynthia returning in her life in six months time, that couldn't be coincidence, right? Malika couldn't help but feeling apprehensive over the meaning of all that.

* * *

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

The Yule Ball had left everyone in a very good mood and the first two days after had been very enjoyable for Malika, Lily and the Marauders. They went outside for snowball fights, played games in the common room or just talked, and during all of this, Sirius didn't stop teasing James and Lily about their new relationship. That is, until James jinxed his mouth shut and threatened to keep it that way.

The third day after the Ball, however, things changed drastically and something happened that spoiled the mood for the rest of the holidays.

On the morning of the third day, after breakfast, McGonagall stopped Malika and steered the girl to the headmaster's office. The Marauders and Lily returned anxiously to their common room, wondering what was going on. Their questions were quickly answered when Malika returned, tears steadily streaming down her face.

They all stood up and hurried towards her, Remus reached her first and Malika threw herself in his arms, sobbing her heart out. It took them some time to calm her down enough to let her talk, but she kept sobbing and holding onto Remus as if he was a life line to shore and she would drown without him.

"My parents…(sob)…Death Eaters came…(sob)…they were apparently after me…" She started sobbing again and buried her head in Remus' shoulder, but she didn't need to say anymore, they knew everything they needed to know.

Voldemort had been steadily growing in power during the last years, but until now, the friends had never really been confronted with the consequences of the war that was raging in their world. At Hogwarts, they had been protected against every possible attack and even James, whose father was an Auror, had never heard what exactly was going on. They simply hadn't realised this war could affect them too, until now.

And now they didn't know what to do, they didn't know how to help their friend who had lost so much in such a short time. They could only sit there and wonder how it was possible life had been so easy yesterday and so hard right now.

This was the day where they realised they would soon enter the real world where the walls of Hogwarts couldn't protect them anymore and where reality, and this war, would come knocking on their door in no time.

And this was the day where they decided they would fight this Dark Lord with everything they had, and they would do it together.

It was also in these days that new changes presented themselves inside the group.

One thing was that the relationship between James and Lily became stronger and by the middle of their last semester at Hogwarts, they were already talking about marriage. Another thing, although most members in the group didn't realise it, was that Peter became even more quiet than he had been before and started to distance himself a bit from them, saying he wouldn't be any help when they had to fight and nobody bothered to contradict that.

The first and probably most striking change at the time, however, was Malika's behaviour. The first week after receiving the news of her parents' death, Malika had hidden herself in her dormitory and refused to leave. Lily had to bring up food for her, which the boys had fetched in the kitchen, in order to make her eat.

After more or less a week, she finally came down, but she barely talked to anyone. Instead, she started studying all the time, starting early in the mornings, keeping it up almost all day long and deep into the night. She barely hung out with her friends, and it seemed to them like they couldn't reach her anymore. This went on as the new semester started and Malika spent every free moment in the library.

At first, everyone let her do as she wished, thinking this was her way of dealing with her parents' death. After a few weeks, however, her friends started to worry and tried to get her out of her books and get her to talk with them.

One day, when Lily asked her why she was studying so much, Malika answered she wanted high marks because she had decided she wanted to become an Auror. Lily was really astonished about that, because Malika had never thought about that before, but when she tried to talk about it with her, the other girl just returned to her books and ignored her.

Both Remus and Sirius had tried to get through to Malika, but they didn't succeed and after receiving enough cold shoulders and snappish answers from the girl, both boys gave up.

Another few weeks passed by and slowly, Malika started to get out of her isolation and sought out her friends again, who silently accepted her back. Things seemed to go back to how they used to be, although Malika would never be the same again.

Something else had changed too. When Malika had returned to her friends, she soon noticed Sirius was often off to somewhere, without anyone knowing where he could be. After a few days, however, the reason made itself clear to her, when she passed an empty classroom on her way to the library during a free period, and found him snogging a blond Ravenclaw sixth year.

When she had arrived in the library, she couldn't concentrate on her work, instead she thought about Sirius and his new girlfriend. Malika silently admitted to herself she had mixed feelings about Sirius finally moving on. On the one hand, she couldn't help but feel slightly jealous, but at the same time, she was thrilled about it, and that confused her a bit.

As she thought longer about it, she realised why she was so happy. Now Sirius had finally gotten over her, she didn't have to feel guilty anymore, when she decided to be with Remus. Her heart fluttered as she thought about this.

Finally, there was nothing between her and Remus anymore!

Malika easily decided she would spend as much time as possible with Remus now, and maybe she could catch him alone soon, and they could have a talk. Maybe he would kiss her again like he had done after the Yule Ball. Malika sighed dreamily. Things seemed to go her way for once.

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A week had passed by and things didn't go like Malika had hoped. She had tried to catch Remus alone all week, but somehow this seemed almost impossible to manage.

Whenever he was around, the rest of the group was there too and they weren't able to talk, what bothered her even more than that was that Remus seemed to disappear sometimes, a bit like the way Sirius did, but less often and less conspicuously. But what bothered her most of all was the way Remus seemed to avoid her a bit, on the outside their friendship seemed to be like it had always been, but Malika soon noticed he had become a bit distant towards her, as if he was afraid to be too close to her.

His behaviour hurt her, but she didn't want him to know that, she only hoped things would go back to how they used to be between them and from there move on to something more than friendship.

The first week of March, that hope was completely crushed.

It was Friday evening and Malika was sitting on a couch before the fire talking with Lily. James, Sirius and Peter were sitting a short distance from them, playing a game of exploding snap. Malika had asked them before where Remus was, but they didn't know.

Suddenly, the portrait hole opened, and Malika was relieved to see Remus enter, but the next moment, she felt like her heart stopped beating when a girl she didn't know followed him in, laughing at something he said. She watched in a daze how he took the girl's hand and guided her in the direction of the fire, the girl had blond hair and light green eyes that sparkled with laughter.

The two of them stopped where the other Marauders were sitting and Remus called Malika and Lily over to them. When they were all settled and eyeing the unknown girl curiously, Remus spoke. "I want you all to meet someone, everyone, this is my girlfriend, Cynthia Robertson, a seventh year Ravenclaw, Cynthia, these are my friends James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Malika Andrews and Lily Evans." Cynthia smiled sweetly towards all of them.

Malika felt her heart breaking at his words. She realised only now Lily had been right when she told her Remus wouldn't wait for her forever and when Cynthia turned towards her, Malika realised she would never be able to compete with the beautiful and undoubtedly smart Ravenclaw.

She couldn't bring herself to smile at the girl, and as Malika and Cynthia looked each other in the eye, Malika realised the other girl's smile was forced and frostily. They stared at each other longer than necessary, seemingly trying to stare each other down, until Lily cleared her throat and directed Cynthia. "It's nice to meet you Cynthia." Cynthia turned to Lily and the awkward moment was soon forgotten. The others started talking among themselves and Malika tried to keep up a cheerful appearance, but felt like she was failing miserably.

After a few minutes, she excused herself and left for her dormitory, but no one seemed to take notice of her. For the first time since sixth year, Remus didn't say goodnight, didn't give her that sweet peck on her cheek, he didn't even acknowledge her, something that had never happened before. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she climbed the stairs and she had never felt this alone in life, even after her parents' death she hadn't felt like this. Then, she had had her friends to comfort her, Remus had been there and had held her while she cried. Now, no one had a clue as to how she felt. Her friends were chatting happily with that Cynthia girl, Remus' girlfriend, she had taken him away from her. Malika knew he had never really been hers, but she couldn't help but feel a great deal of dislike towards the girl.

When she reached her dormitory, she was glad to see no one was there and she threw herself on her bed, sobbing her heart out.

A few moments later, someone entered the dormitory, but Malika ignored the other person, who sat down on the bed beside her and put a gentle hand on her back. When her sobs had calmed down a bit, Malika sat up and faced Lily, who had a look of concern on her face.

"Are you all right?"

Malika huffed. "Of course not, I just got notified that the boy of my dreams has someone else."

Lily sighed. "I hate to say this but…well…I told you so."

Malika glared at her friend, but when Lily put a comforting arm around her, she started sobbing again. Lily engulfed her in a hug.

"I love him, Lily," she whispered in her friends shoulder.

"I know."

"What should I do now?"

"Nothing."

Malika looked up. "What?"

Lily sighed again. "I know this hurts, but there's nothing you can do. If he really wants to be with her, then you will have to accept that. You will have to try and move on. I'm sorry to tell you this, Malika, but you have been playing with both Remus' and Sirius' feelings for months, something like that is bound to backfire sometime."

"I didn't mean to play with their feelings." Malika looked horrified, she had never thought about it that way.

"I know that, but you can't expect someone to wait for something that might never come, it's only normal they have both moved on."

"You know, when I realised Sirius had found someone else, I was happy, I was relieved. I thought…(sob)…I thought I could have a chance with Remus now. But I was too late." Fresh tears started streaming down her face as she whispered the last words. "I was too late. And it hurts so much."

Lily hugged her best friend again, letting Malika cry on her shoulder until the girl started to fall asleep. As she tucked Malika in, she silently hoped Remus and Cynthia would break up soon, now Malika had finally admitted her feelings to herself.

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_Please review..._

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter.


	17. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I only own Malika, Jane and Cynthia, everything else belongs to J. K. Rowling of course.

A/N: This chapter is definitely better than the last one. I want to dedicate this chapter to Sirius, because it's probably his happiest in the whole story.

Chapter 16

June 1995

The months passed by quickly, Malika's Private Werewolf Support Service ran smoothly.

It didn't have many members, except from herself, Jane, Kingsley, Tonks and Cynthia, only six other people had joined them. But with the additional help from a few werewolves who were able to brew extra supplies of Wolfsbane Potion or happened to know a safe place to transform, they were able to help a lot of other, less fortunate werewolves.

Of course, not every werewolf they had talked to accepted their offered help, but Malika hadn't expected that either and for now she was satisfied with what they had done. She was sure they had made a difference, even though it was a small one.

During the next few months, nothing important had happened and Malika and Remus lived their lives together more or less like they had done for the last eight years.

The only thing that bothered Malika, was the fact she still kept a big secret from Remus.

Because of the Support Service, Malika had for the first time gotten the opportunity to get to know Cynthia better. It was strange actually, there had been a time in which she had seen the other woman on an even more regular basis than now (mostly when they were still at school), but in the almost four years when they had known each other back then, they had never even talked to one another. They had simply hated each other, without even considering giving the other a chance. Now, however, in the last five months in which they had to work together, they had both tried to put their dislike for each other aside and had been surprised to realise they got along quite well.

But Malika still didn't really trust Cynthia, some things weren't that easy to forget and she didn't want Remus to know yet she worked together with his ex-girlfriend. She was trying to convince herself that he wouldn't want to know anyway, but Malika knew deep inside that she was just too afraid of losing him.

For the same reason, she tried her best to hide her relationship with Remus for Cynthia. Cynthia herself had told Malika she regretted what happened between Remus and herself. What if that meant she wanted another chance with him? But after two months, Malika was pretty sure Cynthia suspected something, although she never came out straight with it, she dropped little hints about it. Maybe Cynthia tried to gain her trust, but Malika didn't give in, just not yet.

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One day in June, Malika was home early from work. Remus wasn't home when she arrived there and she decided to take the chance of spending a nice, quite afternoon with a book. It had been a long time since she had last had the chance to relax without having to worry about anything.

However, she didn't have the chance to fully pursue that plan, because only a few moments after she had settled down on the couch, a strange noise reached her ears. It sounded a bit like a dog scratching at her door, but she was sure there didn't live any dogs in this building.

It was a bit suspicious, to say at the least. Carefully, she made her way to the door, wand at the ready. Malika flung the door open, and stared for a moment at the sight before her in surprise, before stepping aside.

A huge black dog entered the apartment and watched her while she carefully locked and safeguarded her door. Once she was done, she turned around to find the dog had changed into a man.

For a few moments, Malika just stared at Sirius, and Sirius simply stared back. It had been years since they had last seen each other, and they hadn't really parted on friendly terms then. Besides, they hadn't expected to come across the other, so it was only normal for the both of them to stare at each other in stunned silence, wasn't it?

They both seemed to realise they were staring at the same moment, and consequently spoke at the same moment too. Coincidently, they also asked the same question.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

The funny side of the situation broke the tension a bit, as they started laughing for a moment, before Malika spoke.

"I think I have more of a right to ask you that question, Sirius, since this happens to be my flat."

"Your flat?" Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Dumbledore sent me here, he gave me this address, but he told me Remus was living here."

Malika felt her face grow hot, Sirius still didn't know about her and Remus. She wasn't sure she wanted him to find out either, and certainly not like this, but now she didn't have a choice. She sighed.

"Yes, Remus is living here too, Dumbledore must have forgotten to mention it to you, we share this flat."

Sirius frowned. "Well, you seem to have conveniently forgotten to tell me either, as did Remus. Although I must say I'm not surprised."

The bitter tone in his voice didn't escape Malika and she closed her eyes briefly to push back the tears that she felt forming slowly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, please Sirius, let us not argue. I want to be able to be happy to see you again."

Sirius sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry too. It's really good to see you and we shouldn't let the past come between us."

Malika smiled and approached him, pulling him into a hug. Sirius returned the hug, pulling Malika close to him and burying his face in her hair. It felt so good to have her close again and it filled him with a warmth he seemed to have forgotten about long ago, only now Sirius realised how much he had really missed Malika.

They were still holding each other when the door to the apartment opened again.

* * *

June 1978 (one year after the Marauders graduated from Hogwarts)

It was a warm day at the beginning of summer, the kind of day which should be spent outdoors, preferably sunbathing or swimming. But Malika didn't have much time to relax these days.

She had just finished her first year of Auror training, together with Sirius and James, and the three of them had passed with flying colors.

Theoretically, they had some time off for a month or so now, but since there was a war going on, they could be called in to help at Auror Headquarters whenever they were short on people.

Besides that, all three of them were part of the Order of the Phoenix, which certainly took a lot of their time too. Of course, Lily, Remus and Peter were also part of the Order and spent a great deal of their time working for Dumbledore too. Lily, with her training to become a healer, was also very busy, and Malika didn't see a lot of her best friend these days, most of the information she got about Lily, came from James. Whatever kind of jobs Remus and Peter were doing, Malika didn't know, but they too always seemed to be busy. Malika didn't really care whatever Peter was up to, but she greatly regretted she didn't see much of Remus, only at Order meetings and Marauder get-togethers, for which she was always invited for some reason (she suspected because Lily didn't want to spend whole evenings with Cynthia).

Cynthia Robertson. Only thinking of the name made Malika nauseous, but she couldn't avoid meeting the girl on various occasions, because she seemed to accompany Remus almost everywhere, except on Order meetings. Malika had been wondering for some time now how Remus managed to hide his part in the Order for Cynthia.

Remus and Cynthia had been together for a year and three months by now, and there still was no sign they would break up anytime soon. After all that time, Malika had started to give up any chance to ever be with him, but she couldn't bring herself to date other men.

It was not like she had much time to do so anyway. Between Auror training and work for the Order, she also had put much time in planning a wedding. James and Lily would get married in a week, and since Malika was the Maid of Honor, Lily had asked her to help with part of the planning.

This was exactly the reason why Malika was walking down Diagon Alley today, on her way towards Madam Malkins, who would provide the clothes for the wedding party. It was way too hot to try and fit clothes, but it had to be done today, since it was one of the only days where both she and Sirius had time and Lily had insisted that their clothes should match, since Sirius was the Best Man. Thus, Malika was making her way into Madam Malkins, where, thankfully, Sirius was already waiting for her.

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After two hours of trying and fitting clothes and making sure every part of their dress robes matched each other, Malika and Sirius made their way through Diagon Alley together, heading for Florian Fortescue's, happily chatting.

For those who didn't know them, it would seem like they had always been friends and nothing had ever happened between them that could cause awkward situations. It almost seemed like their relationship and the months after they broke up had never happened.

Almost, because those who knew Sirius very well could sometimes find him staring at Malika with a look of longing and love in his eyes.

Malika, however, never noticed this and she was happy how things had turned out between them. Not long after Sirius had started dating other girls, the awkwardness that had existed between them had disappeared and they had been the best of friends ever since then. Malika didn't feel jealous anymore of the girls Sirius dated, but that could also be because none of them ever lasted long. Yes, between her and Sirius, things were going really well.

If only it could be this way with Remus. But ever since Remus had started dating Cynthia, he had become distant and Malika felt like she didn't know him anymore. It had been very hard to accept Remus' relationship with Cynthia, but Malika thought it would have been a lot easier to cope if it hadn't caused a break in their friendship. The truth was, Remus barely spoke with Malika anymore, the almost tangible hostility between Malika and Cynthia didn't help them either and it had been obvious from the very start that the two girls couldn't stand each other.

Malika shook herself out of her thoughts as they arrived at Florian Fortescue's and Sirius led her to a table outside, standing in the shade in a corner, away from the crowd.

After they had placed their orders, Malika joked, "Are you sure you have time for this? Shouldn't you spend your little bits of free time with your girlfriend?"

Sirius blinked once. "I broke up with Patricia two days ago."

Malika raised her eyebrows. "Patricia? What about that Wendy girl you brought with you three weeks ago?"

Sirius frowned, as if trying to figure out who Wendy was again, then comprehension dawned on him. "Right, Wendy, I broke up with her the day after, she didn't stop complaining about you lot."

Malika formed an 'Oh' with her lips, but didn't say anything. She had always known Sirius put his friends far above his girlfriends and she also had a feeling he didn't really care much for most of those girls anyway, but Malika refrained from commenting on that, it wasn't her place to say anything about his love life.

Their sundaes arrived and they ate in silence for a moment, enjoying their ice creams and watching the crowd.

Sirius was the first to speak again, asking in a would-be casual voice, "What about you, do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Malika turned to him from watching the crowd and shrugged. "No, but I don't really care, I don't have enough time to maintain a steady relationship anyway."

Sirius snorted. "Come on, Malika, if everyone else can do it, why wouldn't you? That's a very cheap argument."

Malika looked away and shrugged again but didn't respond.

"Is something wrong? You know you can tell me."

Malika merely shook her head and kept silent, but Sirius pressed on.

"But don't you miss having someone special in your life? Don't you miss someone always being there for you?"

Malika turned back and stared at Sirius for a moment before finally speaking. "Sometimes, but I believe I have my friends to always support me. What do you want to know, Sirius? Why are you suddenly so interested in my love life, why are you so intent on getting answers out of me now?" She felt herself getting agitated while she was speaking.

Sirius watched her carefully for a moment before answering quietly. "I've always been interested, Malika, and I suppose I'd like to have certain questions answered because I do miss you."

Surprise was etched all over Malika's face, it was obvious this was not what she had expected. When she didn't answer, Sirius continued speaking.

"Come on, Malika, you know of all the girls I dated lately there hasn't been any that was really special to me. There hasn't really been anyone since you. You are the only one I ever loved, Malika, and I still love you."

Malika stared at Sirius in shock, eyes wide and mouth almost hanging open. She had truly been convinced that he was over her and only saw her as a friend. And now he suddenly confessed his true feelings for her, and just like last time, she had no idea how to react.

After a long moment of silence, Sirius sighed and started speaking again. "I know you probably don't feel the same about me right now. But Malika, I also know you haven't really been with anyone since we broke up. I never knew why exactly you broke up with me, but I would like to have another chance. Maybe this time we could make it work, I could make you happy if you let me. I'll understand if don't want to, but you have no idea how happy you would make me if we could try again."

Malika looked down at the table, biting her lip, heart pounding in her chest. She couldn't bear to look at Sirius right now, for fear the tears that were building in her eyes would spill over. He had completely taken her off guard and she didn't know what to say to him now.

"Don't you miss what we had sometimes?" Sirius whispered.

Malika sighed. Yes, she missed it sometimes, she missed having someone taking care of her, more so since her parents died and Remus started almost completely ignoring her. But in her heart she knew she didn't _love _Sirius, and never would, because she loved Remus.

On the other hand, Malika thought bitterly, Remus is with Cynthia and he will never be mine, I lost my chance with him.

With a jolt, Sirius' words finally came trough to her, he wanted another chance, he was giving _her _another chance too. Maybe she didn't love him, but he did obviously love her, he wouldn't be able to make her truly happy, but she could at least make _him_ happy. After all, I do care about Sirius, Malika thought, maybe not really in the way he wants me too, but I care all the same, and he deserves to be happy.

At that point, Malika decided that, if she couldn't be happy herself, she could at least make one of her best friends happy, by giving him what he wanted, her love, even if her heart wasn't truly in it.

She closed her eyes for a moment, pushing away all sad feelings carefully to the back of her mind. Then she looked up again and faced Sirius, who was looking back at her with an anxious expression on his face.

Somehow, Malika managed to smile a little when she finally replied to his last question. "Actually, I do miss what we had."

A careful grin appeared on Sirius' face. "I knew it, I take it this means it wasn't a total disaster."

Malika laughed. "No, definitely not." A genuine smile, the first since the start of this conversation, had now replaced the previous half-smile. A short pause fell between the two of them, but the tension had been broken, Sirius watched Malika expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

"Maybe you are right, Sirius, maybe it's a good idea to give it another try…"

Malika wanted to say more, but she didn't get a chance. Sirius had jumped off his chair with a whoop of joy, almost ran around the table and spun Malika around in a circle. It seemed like he hadn't heard the 'maybe's' in her words, or he simply chose to ignore them, but whatever was the case, the look of pure joy on his face made all Malika's last doubts disappear completely.

When Sirius finally put her on the ground again, he sat down on Malika's vacated chair and pulled her down on his lap. "Let's finish our sundaes, it would be a shame to let them go to waist, don't you think." He grinned at her and Malika smiled back. But instead of taking back up his own spoon, he took Malika's and started to feed her ice cream.

Malika laughed. "Sirius, what would people think if they saw us," she scolded playfully.

"I don't give a damn."

"I knew you would say that."

For a moment, Malika started to wonder what Remus would have said, but she quickly banned that thought, she wouldn't think of Remus, not anymore. And to her own surprise and joy, Malika realised she was actually quite content, almost happy even, sitting here on Sirius' lap, being fed ice-cream and definitely _not_ thinking about Remus.

Suddenly, Malika was pulled from her thoughts by something wet and cold sliding from the corner of her mouth across her cheek. Sirius grinned cheekily at her. "Oops, I seem to have missed the last spoon a bit."

Malika raised her eyebrows, but grinned back at him nonetheless. "And I'm sure it was a total accident."

Sirius winked at her. "Of course it was, let me clean this up for you, miss."

But instead of taking a napkin, he leaned closer to her, licking away the ice-cream from her cheek until he reached her mouth. As he reached her mouth, he briefly glanced up at her, as if making sure she was all right with it, before fully kissing her.

They kept kissing for a long time, until the lack of air made Malika pull away. For a moment, they just stared into each others eyes, letting the knowledge that they were indeed back together really sink in.

Then, Sirius grinned cockily at her. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charm forever."

Malika laughed and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "You arrogant prig!"

Sirius merely flashed her another grin, before kissing her again.

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_Please review…_

I only received one review for the last chapter (thank you S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e), hopefully I get a bit more for this one.


	18. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I only own Malika, Jane and Cynthia…

Chapter 17

June 1995

Seeing old, presumably lost friends again, is always a very emotional event.

If that friend happens to be an old lover makes it even more special, even when there had never been a really strong feeling of love from your part. Sharing such an intimate bond always leaves its traces.

Malika was really very happy to see Sirius again, even though it didn't seem like it at first. But only when he held her close she realised how much she had really missed him. There had always been a strong bond between them after their first break-up and she had always cared a lot about Sirius as a friend. And after all they had shared together, a part of her even loved him, although she would probably never admit it to herself.

Whatever was the case, it felt good to hold each other after all these years, and that was probably the reason why they held each other just a bit longer than was necessary. This would never have caused any problem, if fate hadn't decided to work once again against Malika's favour, because at that point, the front door to the apartment started to open and before Malika and Sirius had the time to pull apart, Remus had entered.

Sirius and Malika quickly let go of each other and stepped away, but Remus had already seen them and was now staring incredulously at the both of them.

Malika was the first to make a move, she walked up to Remus, "Hey, glad you're back, look who appeared at our doorstep just a moment ago."

She went to greet Remus in their usual way, with a kiss and a hug, but he stepped away from her.

"So I see, I hope I didn't interrupt something." He sounded calm as ever, but the other two weren't fooled, they both knew Remus well enough to feel the underlying anger and hurt.

Malika looked horrified at the implication in his words, but before she could say anything, Sirius spoke up. "We only said hello, Moony, nothing to worry about. I actually came here looking for you. Dumbledore sent me."

The last words, more than anything, attracted Remus' attention, and his first slightly sceptical look turned in a concerned one. "Did something happen?"

Sirius gave a humourless laugh. "To say something happened, would be an understatement."

Before he could start his story, however, Malika spoke up. "Let's sit down first, and get you something to eat, Sirius, you look like you haven't had a decent meal in months. You can explain everything while eating."

As they were headed for the kitchen, Sirius gave Malika a slight smile, "Thanks Malika, and actually, I haven't had a decent meal since the last time you cooked me one."

Malika quickly averted her eyes, she remembered exactly when that had been, and what more had happened between them that day, it was something she'd rather not think about too often and the thought of Sirius not having a decent meal for fourteen years wasn't a happy one either.

There was a moment of silence, while Malika warmed the leftovers of the day before and Remus pulled out a plate for Sirius and prepared some drinks for the three of them, Sirius sat down at the kitchen table and watched them. A few moments later, Sirius was provided with a plate full of food, with Malika and Remus sitting in front of him, ready to listen to his story.

It didn't take him long to finish his plate, and even before that he had starting relating everything that happened the last year which he hadn't been able to write them in a letter. He informed them of the Triwizard Tournament and how Harry had become the fourth champion, how Mad-Eye Moody had been impersonated by Crouch Jr., and how he had changed the Cup into a Portkey.

As Sirius told them how Harry had to watch Voldemort return, Malika gasped and started trembling all over, a very pale-faced Remus placed an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

Sirius stopped for a moment, looking at the table, pretending, even to himself, it was because of the story he felt his heart contract painfully, but deep inside he knew the sight of Malika and Remus being so close still hurt him more than he ever wanted to admit, even to himself.

After a moment, he continued, explaining about the Priori Incantatem, at which point Malika started crying, at last he finished with Dumbledore's message about the Order of the Phoenix being re-established and the headmasters order for Sirius to stay here in the apartment for a while.

When Sirius finally stopped talking, a long and heavy silence descended in the kitchen. After what seemed like hours, but were in fact only a few minutes, Sirius broke it again. He had never been able to take long, depressed silences like this, and he always tried to lighten the atmosphere one way or another.

"I'm sorry for barging in like this with such bad news, I wanted to see you two again, but I had planned for it to be under slightly better circumstances."

Both Malika and Remus smiled a bit at this. "Well, I'd rather you'd come with better news, too, Padfoot, but we're happy you're here anyway." Remus seemed to have forgotten the scene he had walked in on for now, and the three of them chose a lighter topic to talk about, being Harry's schooling and friends.

A little later, Remus started preparing dinner, while Malika went to prepare the second bedroom for Sirius. Sirius stayed in the kitchen, watching Remus for moment before he spoke. "So, you and Malika are together." It was more a statement than a question, but for some reason he needed it to be confirmed.

Remus paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about his answer, before responding with a simple 'yes'.

"Are you happy?"

Remus turned around now. "Yes, I am very happy with Malika."

Sirius nodded, as if confirming the answer for himself; he had thought as much, knowing that Remus had been in love with Malika since they were at school. "Then I'm happy for you, Moony, you deserve to be happy." And Sirius realised he meant it, even though it still hurt.

Remus watched Sirius for a moment intently, making sure the other had meant what he said, finally he smiled. "Thank you, Padfoot." Then he returned to preparing dinner.

Not long after dinner, they all decided to turn in for the night, the days' events and revelations having tired them out. Malika saw Sirius to his room and gave a tight hug and a peck on the cheek before he closed the door behind him.

When she turned around, Remus stood in the hallway, looking at her reproachful before turning around and entering their bedroom. A few moments later, she had followed him into the room, but he was already lying in bed, his back turned to her.

She quickly prepared for bed and crawled next to him, but when she cuddled close to him, he scooted away from her. Malika sat up again, perplexed by his behaviour.

"Remus, what's going on? Have I done something wrong?"

He gave a huff, but didn't answer. Malika frowned. "If you're mad at me for some reason, then you can at least tell me why, you know I don't like talking for the walls."

Now, Remus sat up too. "Well then, maybe you should go sleep with Sirius, he'll talk back and I'm sure he'll be happy to have you."

Malika stared at him completely bewildered, not understanding where this sudden outburst was coming from. "Wha…what?" she sputtered, "What are you talking about. Why should I do that?"

Remus gave her another look, muttered a quiet 'forget it' and made to turn around again, but Malika pulled him back.

"No, I won't forget it. I want to know what this is about. Why would you think I would want to go to Sirius?"

Remus closed his eyes for a moment, and stared down at his hands when he opened them again, not wanting to see Malika's reaction, realising now he was probably overreacting. "You were awfully happy to see him today, the way you were holding each other when I entered and when you hugged him just a moment ago."

Malika sighed. "I haven't seen him in fourteen years, Remus, and he's always been one of my best friends. I would have reacted the same way if it had been James or Lily."

"Right," Remus whispered.

Malika smiled, starting to stroke his cheek. "There's no reason to be jealous, love." Remus didn't answer, but leaned into her touch with a sigh. She leaned into him to kiss him and he responded eagerly, wanting to reassure she was still his.

And it was for the same reason that he couldn't help holding her close to him the whole night, the fact that she didn't protest but held onto him just as strongly giving him all the reassurance he needed.

* * *

June 1978

The day of James and Lily's wedding was a beautiful summer day, warm and sunny, but not too hot, which was a good thing, since the wedding would be held outside.

Because of the war going on around them, James and Lily had opted to do a simple wedding in the backyard of the house they were going to live in.

Malika, who would be helping Lily getting herself ready, arrived there a long time before the other guests, together with Sirius, who was supposed to help James calming his nerves.

They arrived together at the house, hand in hand. It would be the first time they would come out with their relationship, none of their friends knew they were back together yet, and Malika wasn't sure how they would react.

James opened the door and greeted them nervously. "Hey Padfoot, Malika, glad you could be here so soon. Lily's upstairs in the bedroom with both our mothers, Malika, but I bet she's waiting for you."

Malika smiled, trying to keep from laughing out loud. She had never thought she would see James Potter nervous like this. "Thanks, James, I'll go to her right away."

But before Malika could leave the boys alone, Sirius tugged at her hand, which he was still holding. As she turned to him, he gave her a quick kiss, whispering 'see you later', before releasing her.

Blushing slightly, Malika disappeared up the stairs, aware of the stares she was sure James was giving her. She hadn't wanted him to find out like this.

Entering the bedroom, she was greeted by her excited best friend, Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Evans, the latter two left the girls to talk soon after, promising they'd be back in half an hour. When they were gone, Lily turned to her friend with a questioning gaze.

"What?" Malika asked uncomfortably.

"You were blushing when you entered, what happened?"

Malika first tried to deny it, but soon relented; she knew Lily would find out soon enough anyway, and she would rather tell herself, than Lily hearing it from James, or worse, finding out the same way James had.

"It was Sirius, he took me by surprise." At Lily's puzzled look, she added, "He kissed me, I didn't expect it."

Now, Lily's eyebrows shot in the air, she didn't say anything, but the look in her eyes clearly demanded an explanation. Malika sighed softly.

"Yes, we're back together since last Saturday."

Now Lily was staring at her, mouth wide open, after a moment, she recovered enough to say a little accusingly without wanting to, "You've been together for a week, and you didn't tell me?"

Malika looked to the ground, she had expected this. "I'm sorry, Lily, but we wanted some time to get used to it, before telling everyone."

For a moment, it seemed like Lily wanted to reply, but then she decided against it, and a silence fell between the two friends.

Finally, Lily spoke quietly, "I want to be happy for the two of you, Malika, but…I'm wondering if this is what you want."

Malika looked up, both girls stared at each other, Lily with a gentle enquiring look, Malika almost challengingly. Malika was the first to break her gaze away, heaving another sigh.

"You know just as well as I do that I can't have what I really want. Sirius really loves me, and I do care about him, maybe this is the way things are supposed to be."

Lily shook her head slightly. "I don't really agree with you on this, but it's your life. I just hope you two are happy."

Malika nodded, although she was looking a bit uncertain, but Lily decided to let it go for the moment. Instead, she turned the conversation on her wedding dress and the hair style she wanted. Soon the atmosphere had lifted considerably, and the girls were laughing and talking merrily.

000

Downstairs, in the kitchen, James was questioning Sirius about him and Malika.

"Are you sure about this, Padfoot? I mean, she's been playing enough with yours and Remus' feelings during our seventh year."

"I know, but we both believe we deserve a second chance, and you know she hasn't dated anyone since then, that must mean something. Besides, one of the main reasons then, was that she had feelings for Moony too, but now he's completely out of the picture, he's with Miss-I'm-Better-Because-I'm-Ravenclaw, and he barely even acknowledges Malika."

James sighed, realising there was no point trying to reason with Sirius, and wondering momentarily when exactly he had become the reasonable Marauder, since Remus seemed to have lost a bit of his reason lately.

On the face of it, Sirius may seem to have a point, but James knew his friend had missed the basic point. Remus wasn't 'out of the picture', not really, James knew the reason why Malika hadn't dated anyone, she was in love with the werewolf. And James doubted her feelings would have changed so suddenly.

000

Only a few short hours later, the actual wedding started. Although it was rather simple, the guests agreed it was beautiful.

After a short ceremony, long tables appeared in the garden, together with a dance floor, and all around, candles were lighted, creating a romantic atmosphere. Soon, many couples were dancing around the newlyweds, one of those couples consisting of the Best Man and the Maid of Honor.

Remus was sitting at the table, staring at the dancing couple. He had no idea where Cynthia had gone to, but frankly he didn't care much at the moment. The only thing that mattered to him now, was the girl of his dreams being once again in the arms of one of his best friends.

The moment he had arrived with Cynthia, his eyes had automatically searched for Malika, he hadn't seen her in two months and he had looked forward to seeing her. Granted, he never really talked to her lately, but seeing her always filled a little of the emptiness her absence in his life caused.

Remus knew it was mostly his own fault, he was the one avoiding her and he knew this hurt her deeply, Lily had told him that many times. But when he started dating Cynthia, he had figured it was best for everyone if he stayed away from Malika, it was the only possible way for him to try and love someone else.

Not being able to see Malika everyday, after they had graduated, had hurt him a lot, but as the months passed by, and he barely saw her anymore, the pain began to dull, and Remus had started believing he was over her.

Until today.

When he had arrived, it didn't take him long to find Malika. She had been standing at the front of the rows of chairs, where the ceremony would take place, quietly talking with Sirius. They were standing a bit too close to each other for Remus' liking, actually, and he had just started walking towards them when it happened.

Malika had turned her head, and he was sure she had seen him, but apparently she had decided to ignore him, instead she had turned back to Sirius and simply continued talking. A moment later, Sirius too had glanced in Remus' direction, and Remus thought he saw a look of triumph in his friends' eyes. Before Remus could register what that could have meant, however, his questions were answered when Sirius leaned forward and kissed Malika on the lips.

For a long moment, Remus had stood there, staring at them, not wanting to believe his eyes but knowing there was no denying it. Just like there was no denying the sudden pain in his chest and the realisation he still loved Malika just as much as that one time when he had dared to kiss her.

Not wanting to watch them any longer, Remus had turned around and found himself a place to sit in the back of the rows of chairs. He hadn't waited for Cynthia and didn't even look at her, thus he also hadn't seen the look on her face, which wasn't only irritated, but also a little pleased.

Remus couldn't keep himself from being quite moody for the rest of the day, and after he had refused to dance with Cynthia for the umpteenth time, she had left him to dance with someone else. But at the moment, Remus didn't care, as he watched Malika and Sirius dancing the night away. He would make up with Cynthia tomorrow, for now he just wanted to sit there and wish Malika could be his.

000

Evening had fallen, and guests were dancing on the dance floor or relaxing around it in the light of many candles.

James spotted Malika sitting alone, she was watching the people on the dance floor with a peaceful, though a bit wistful look. He didn't want to spoil the mood for her, but he had to talk to her, and decided this time was as good as any. He excused himself quickly from the table where he was talking to, or rather listening to the conversation of, some Order Members.

Malika greeted him with a smile when he approached her, but James came straight to the point. "I have to talk to you." Malika gazed at him questioningly, knowing by his expression that, whatever it was, it must be important.

"It's about Sirius." James clarified.

"Oh." Malika bit her lip, watching him anxiously. She had known James would have doubts about the restarted relationship.

"I want to know why you are doing this."

"Doing what?" She whispered.

"We've been friends for some time now, and I like to think I know you quite well. I know you don't love Sirius, Malika, and I know who you _do_ love." He threw a significant glance towards where Remus was sitting with Cynthia.

Malika followed James' gaze for a moment, before quickly averting her eyes to the ground.

"Listen, Malika, Sirius really loves you, he would do anything for you. He's also my best friend, and if you hurt him, I don't think I will ever forgive you."

Malika looked up quickly, wanting to tell James she really wasn't planning on hurting Sirius, but before she had a chance to even open her mouth, James stood and quickly walked away. Following him with her eyes for a long moment, she tried to swallow back the tears that were threatening to appear.

000

_Please review…_

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, as I've said on my profile, the new semester has started, and for the moment I don't have much time to write. But I promise I will try my best to update whenever I can.


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